My son just had his second birthday and my baby is now 14 weeks old. This is supposed to be hard, right?
I feel like the pressure of going from one to two kids is just now hitting me. It was easier when the baby was a newborn, but now that she’s a bit older and isn’t a sleepy little infant anymore I really have my hands full. About once a day I find myself *extremely* stressed, frustrated, at my wit’s end, topped off with a lot of guilt that I feel that way. I am so blessed it’s absurd. I have the best husband in the world, I live with my mother who is very helpful when she can spare the time, I even have a freaking babysitter who comes sometimes to help with my son. On top of that there’s the fact that I have two healthy children and live in the kind of luxury that 99% of people who have ever lived cannot imagine (i.e. I live a typical middle-class American life).
Here’s an example of the sort of thing that makes me so upset most days: I was trying to put the baby down for a nap but my son wanted to read a book. I told him I’d be happy to as soon as I put the baby down. He got really loud and rowdy, startled the baby, and she started screaming. She was crying so hard that it was hard to tell if she was just overtired or in pain. I determined that she was in pain (in retrospect I think she was just tired) so I walked up and down the hall with her to get her to settle down. Meanwhile, my poor son started crying and clinging to my leg because he wanted my attention, thus upsetting the baby even more. The noise level was so loud it physically hurt my ears, my two children whom I love so much, both screaming and screaming and screaming.
Does this happen to everyone else or am I doing something wrong here?
I feel like I am sucking at my vocation. It’s partially for the reasons mentioned in this post (although I have more help than most people). Another big issue (maybe *the* issue) is that I can count on my hands the number of times I’ve gotten a good night’s sleep in the past two years. My son didn’t sleep through the night until a few weeks before the baby was born, and the pain of the DVT kept me up at night during that time. I fully understand now why sleep deprivation is a form of torture outlawed in the Geneva Convention. It’s brutal.
So anyway. You brilliant commentors have given me such wonderful advice for pretty much every issue of faith I’ve ever thrown out, so I’ll put this one out there as well: anyone have any advice? For those of you who have multiple children, was this a tough period for you as well? It’s hard to tell if I’m in a phase of life that’s tough for everyone or if maybe there’s something I’m totally screwing up here that makes it harder for me than for other people.
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