I’ve been pondering the topic of gratitude lately. In particular, I’ve been thinking a lot about my lack thereof. For example, when I was telling my husband about Heather’s story as I wiped tears from my eyes, I almost made the statement, “It makes you realize how lucky we are, how very small our problems are.” But I stopped just short of saying it, since I’ve come to see lately that that’s not true. Whenever I make statements like that I always realize how astoundingly wonderful and easy my life is…for about two minutes. And then I promptly go back to grousing around about things like the barking dog next door and the huge mess I have to clean up in the kitchen.
So anyway, an incident occurred last night that was the last straw. I really need to work on this area of my life. It’s such a staggering example of just how much people can take for granted that I just have to share for your amusement and pity: some outstanding bills at our business got settled, and my husband came home with a stack of checks for me to endorse. None of the checks were for huge amounts ($26 here, $8 there), but they were made payable to us nevertheless. I was exhausted and eager to get into bed, and after the first few I started huffing and puffing and rolling my eyes at what an inconvenience this was.
Complaining. About. Receiving. Money. Yes, folks, evidently I can complain about anything.
So, expect to read more on this topic over the next few months. My goal is to actually internalize and appreciate the beauty and blessing that are all around me, instead of making fleeting comments like “makes you realize how small our problems are” while actually spending much of my time fixating on said small problems.
After some prayer on this topic I feel like I was directed to the Litany of Humility, so I’m going to start there, but am open to any suggestions anyone has. Also, am I the only one who ever does stuff like this? What is the craziest thing you’ve ever been ungrateful for? 🙂
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