— 1 —
Daylight Savings Time is ruining my life. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. Sort of. You see, my children still get up at the same time every day, only it’s an hour earlier according to the clock. So all that propaganda about how we get an extra hour of sleep when we change the clocks in November is all lies. “We” are getting less sleep because “we” are still going to bed at the same time according to the clock, and “we” have children who are getting up at the same time in according to their biological clocks, so “we” are actually losing sleep each night. “So why don’t you go to bed an hour earlier?” you ask. I could, but I’m a night owl, and going to bed early makes me feel like I’ve given up on living. Which brings me back to “Daylight Savings Time is ruining my life.”
— 2 —
I know, I know, it’s not currently Daylight Savings Time, DST just ended. Whatever. I use the term as an all-encompassing reference to “that thing the government does to mess with my head twice a year.” It usually takes me a few months to adjust to the new time, at which point we change the clocks again. It’s like something out of 1984, when you think about it. I’ll be off crafting detailed Daylight Savings Time conspiracy theories if anyone needs me.
— 3 —
When I saw this article in the Wall Street Journal announcing that rap label Cash Money Records is partnering with Simon & Schuster to sell books, it was as if Christmas came early for me this year. I don’t know if there has ever been a confluence of events more perfectly tailored to pique my interest. I may never shut up about it.
I’ve long been an admirer of Cash Money’s body of work, and I cannot wait to see how this is translated to the world of literature. If I recall correctly, in one song B. Gizzle states that “the Cash Money motto is we gotta drink ’til we throw up.” I wonder if they’ll bring this same core competency to their imprint at Simon & Schuster?
— 4 —
Based on their repertoire of music, I think I can predict the narrative arc of each Cash Money book:
- Exposition: Protagonist just creating hot rhymes for the love of it. Rhymes are so hot that he now owns multiple luxury vehicles and wears so much bling that it causes eye damage to those who look directly at it.
- Rising action: Haters come up, start hatin’. On top of this, protagonist realizes he’s the only rapper who speaks truth; is deeply concerned that people will get only weak rhymes and watered-down messages if they listen to his competition. Protagonist ruminates in detail about inner conflict between wanting haters to go away, and enjoying the vast amounts of riches and scantily-clad women that this career path has sent his way.
- Climax: Protagonist considers returning to obscurity so that he can shake the haters and go back to rapping for the love if it. After detailed narration of a mental inventory of his possessions, including but not limited to Bentleys, Mercedes, ice, bling, yachts and helicopters, protagonist decides to continue rapping.
- Denouement: Protagonist realizes that he’s talented enough that he can both keep it real and enjoy wild commercial success; resolves to let haters keep hatin’.
— 5 —
While we’re on the subject of books, let’s do a Fiction Book Challenge! I’ve said before that I almost never read fiction; it’s not exactly intentional, I just can’t ever seem to get into it. But I’d like to be more broad in my reading, so let’s see if we can find a fiction book I’ll enjoy! Here’s what I’m looking for:
I like to be able to learn something concrete from the books that I read (e.g. I’d probably love something that, say, painted a really accurate picture of medieval France). I don’t think that sci-fi or fantasy are my cup of tea. I love history, astronomy and science. An example of a fiction book I ready recently and really liked is Magi by Daniel Gilbert.
— 6 —
This is hilarious:
— 7 —
Have a great weekend, everyone!
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