— 1 —
For the longest time I thought we all agreed that having newborns is just kind of miserable. I mean, we love them to pieces, of course, but I thought it was a universal experience that women wished they could hit fast forward and get to month 10. Then, during this pregnancy, some friends mentioned that they actually like and — get this — look forward to having an infant around. Perplexed by this crazy talk, I sought more details.
Long story short, hearing about other women’s experiences made me realize just how much the crazy-horrible pain I experience with breastfeeding* and extreme lack of sleep negatively impact me. I’ve gotten really proactive about minimizing the pain (mainly thanks to Medela shields and doctor-approved pain meds) and getting as much sleep as possible, and it’s made a tremendous difference! I used to be perplexed by the term “babymoon” as it implied that there was something enjoyable about the first few weeks postpartum, but I think I finally get it now. When you’re somewhat rested and only in bad pain (as opposed to AAAAHHH!!! KILL ME NOW!!!! pain), this whole newborn this is actually enjoyable.
* You’re welcome to offer breastfeeding advice, but I have worked with five lactation consultants, including multi-day in-home visits, as well as getting input from experienced midwives. The pain seems to stem from something unrelated to breastfeeding technique, perhaps systemic inflammation or something like that.
— 2 —
Certain family members of mine are still laughing about the fact that I sent out this story a while back, thinking it was true. Okay. So upon closer inspection, it is not the best Photoshop job I’ve ever seen. So the guy has an entirely different level of brightness and saturation than the rest of the picture…and is that a drop shadow behind the scorpion? But in my defense, every new fact I learn about scorpions is worst than the last. They’re almost impossible to kill. They gravitate towards beds and couches. They’re nocturnal. Their venom is specifically formulated to be painful. They fluoresce under black light, just to be extra creepy. So when I came across an article that claimed that they can reach up to 60 lbs., this made perfect sense to me. It seemed to follow the fact pattern of increasing levels of suck with every new bit of information.
— 3 —
On a related note, a guy got 4, 000 frequent flier miles and two free tickets because he was stung by a scorpion on an Alaska Airlines flight. (Portland news crews came to the airport to cover the story!) Any guesses where the plane picked up the menacing arachnid? Austin, OF COURSE. An exterminator quoted in that post says that this summer is going to be particularly bad for scorpion infestations because of the weather, which is kind of like living in the middle of Death Valley, but not as cool at night.
So…the punishing heat and endless drought are making the scorpions invade buildings in droves. Wow. The Austin Board of Tourism must be having a tough time right now. How do you spin that? Maybe:
Come to Austin, where you probably won’t die of heat stroke! (As long as you don’t go outdoors between 10 AM and 6 PM.) You probably will get stung by a scorpion — at night, while you’re sleeping — but won’t that story make a colorful addition to your travel journal? While you’re here, you can experience frying an egg on the sidewalk, tour our myriad air conditioned establishments, and visit The World’s Largest Mud Puddle (formerly known as Lake Travis).
Best of luck, guys.
— 4 —
I am eating sushi like a madwoman, salmon in particular. Since I avoided raw fish during pregnancy, I’m making up for lost time now. I wish there were some kind of sushi eating contest around here with large cash prizes. Anyway, I mention this on the chance that there is someone out there who has never tried salmon sushi. If this is you, go try some! You don’t know what you’re missing! It’s soooooo good! I know, I know. Raw fish doesn’t sound particularly appetizing, but it is seriously some of the best food in the world.
— 5 —
Has anyone ever tried a food dehydrator? I found this one on sale at Amazon, and since it was such a reasonable price I was wondering if it would make a good investment. As soon as I saw it I had this vision of myself whipping up healthy on-the-go snacks like homemade beef jerky and fruit roll-ups…but then my “looks like a good idea but you’ll never actually use it” detector went off. Anyone have any thoughts?
— 6 —
I wasn’t up to making it to Mass last weekend since the baby was only three days old, and I rediscovered the wonderful Litany of Holy Communion. I like reciting it on the occasions that I can’t make it to church, since it’s fairly long (thus giving me time to clear my head and really focus) and because it’s centered around the Eucharist.
— 7 —
I just called over to my mom’s house, where the big kids are spending the afternoon. I heard all this commotion in the background, and she said that Yaya just stopped by with a present for the kids. I eagerly waited for what was coming next, since with Yaya there was a 0% chance that it was something like coloring books or Play-Doh. What could it be? A scorpion? A possum? A four-foot-tall rabbit that the kids aren’t allowed to touch? (All of which have been suggested as children’s entertainment items in the past.) It was, in fact, a puppy. I think my children are officially done with spending any time at all here at the Boring House O’ No-Fun and are ready to take up permanent residence with Yaya and the new puppy.
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