Birth story haikus

I am limited to one-hand typing while holding the new baby, so how about if you all do all the work for this post? How about this: Let’s do birth story haikus!

I love hearing birth stories, but they’re always so long — I don’t think I’ve ever been able to capture one of mine in less than 2,000 words. I thought it might be fun to put them in haiku form (if you need a refresher, it’s a 5-7-5 syllable scheme). Here are two of mine:

BABY #1:
Natural childbirth:
this is gonna be great, right?
Doctor Bradley lies.


BABY #5:
O epidural,
You have failed me once again.
Uh-oh, time to push.

What’s your birth story haiku? Feel free to do it for one, some or all of your births. Thanks in advance for my amusement for the afternoon.


  1. Barbara C. says

    I don’t know how poetic they are, but they are accurate and the correct number of syllables:

    They broke my water,
    Leading to IV pain meds.
    Should have used midwife!
    Peaceful labor start.
    Panic attack, no stitches.
    Thank God for midwife!!
    Tried all-fours pushing,
    Results traumatized husband.
    Third sweet baby girl.
    A big midnight POP!
    My sunny-side-up baby
    With lots of dark hair.

  2. says

    I’m not very good at these, but hope you enjoy! :)

    Baby #1:
    Born early this girl’s
    Rod Stewart rock star hair made
    Everyone smile

    Baby #2:
    Born early this boy’s
    Bright red hair and cute Irish face
    Melted our hearts fast

    Baby #3:
    No epidural
    She came out in one push
    Couldn’t believe it

  3. says

    I love these!

    Ten days overdue –
    You still take your own sweet time,
    but you were worth it!

    After eighteen hours
    Pushing felt like I might die.
    You liked where you were.

    Needles everywhere
    some places I’d rather not
    Epidurals suck.

    Even afterwards
    they held you up as if jewels
    were worth less than you!

  4. says

    Ha. This is such a Catholic thing to do :) Seeing as I’m not married and only just barely out of high school, I don’t think I can really contribute too much on this one. However, here’s my take on the day my baby brother was born:

    I used to be spoiled
    Daddy’s little princess girl
    Now: competition

  5. says

    Never done this before, but I’m loving the submissions!

    Long and slow all day
    Lots of pushing, 2 stitches
    Perfect baby girl

    Grumpy and achey
    This can’t be labor yet, right?
    Whoa! That was FAST!

    Owe my back, high stress.
    Something’s wrong, baby is stuck.
    Thank God, all OK.

    Breathing, walking. Peace.
    Still a way’s to go? Nope.
    Baby’s here. Best birth.

    You can read the 2000 word versions over at my blog. :)

  6. Sara says

    the first:

    Heart rate is dropping!
    Ack! How many people for
    one emergen-C?

    the second:

    I would’ve V-BAC’d
    but . . . forty weeks and not close?
    Just cut this girl out.

    the third:

    Scheduled C from go.
    Planning’s nice when hospitals are
    two hours away

    the fourth:

    I have this thing down
    but it’s harder ten years on
    Oh . . . I have a boy!

  7. says

    Husband out of town
    Students turning papers in
    Didn’t plan for this

    Due date Thanksgiving
    But wait it’s not Halloween
    Once more unprepared

  8. Amanda says

    ow this really hurts
    can I have some drugs puh-lease?!
    Too late, you say? Aughh!

    I’m going drug free, man!
    give me an epidural!!!
    I can’t feel my legs!

    water birth baby!
    oh gross! He pooped in the pool!
    get on the table!

  9. says

    Baby one
    9 pound breech baby
    No version for tiny mom
    Napped before section

    Baby two
    Very Scared husband
    No vbac for this mommy
    So I napped again

  10. Sandie says

    want to nap not push
    CNM says get to work
    welcome sugar pie!

    home, rebuilt after storm
    water brings peace to labor
    baby boy slips out

  11. says

    Heart rate drops again
    Not what I planned but perfect
    baby boy, my love.

    Section in morning
    Why can’t I sleep, I feel sick
    Oh duh, it’s labor.

  12. says

    baby #1
    10 c on admit
    made natural birth easy.
    only had to push.

    baby #2
    Dilated seven
    but no labor. broke water
    then babe in two hours

  13. tanya says

    Baby #4

    Hiding in bathroom
    Don’t want nurse bossing me around
    I hate hospitals

    Choosing to offer pain
    contracting prayers for my family
    Lord bring them to you

  14. Barb S. says

    Baby boy #1:

    Induction no go. Section!
    Saved from twice tight cord.

    Baby boy #2:

    Opted for section.
    Pain-free calm delivery.
    Good recovery.

  15. says

    Okay, this was MUCH more fun in the retelling.

    :: Baby Number 1 ::

    Assumption Day Birth
    It’s okay if I miss Mass?
    Friend says, “Go, you fool!”

    Nurses yell, “Bear down!”
    Newbie thinks, “Don’t want to poop!”
    Babe stays where he is.

    Me! Me! Me! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! He
    Arrives. So worth it.

    :: Baby Number 2 ::

    A midwife this time.
    Talks nonstop, annoys my spouse.
    Another boy! Hooray!

    :: Baby Number 3 ::

    Water broke, then nothing.
    “Pitocin will help,” they cooed.
    Man. That HURT! A girl.

    :: Baby Number 4 ::

    Contractions all day.
    To the clinic to be checked.
    Go! Hospital! Now!

    It’s a struggle.
    Push! Eyes blur! The Ring of Fire!
    One more girl. Hooray!

    :: Baby Number 5 ::

    Same place, same doctor.
    Husband’s bored! He dozes off.
    Wakes for baby. Girl!

    :: Baby Number 6 ::

    Lost four babies. Sob.
    Prayed, “Please God! One last keeper.”
    Boy. Big LOVE. The end.

  16. says

    This thread had my husband and me laughing aloud. It’s perfect — birth stories are interesting but can go on so, so long.

    Of course I had to take a whack at it.

    Baby #1
    Married for nine months.
    First labor’s always long, right?
    Four and a half hours!

    Baby #2
    This one will be fast!
    Oops, sunny-side-up baby.
    Twelve hours and section.

    Baby #3
    All set for VBAC
    Midwife feels baby’s bottom
    Breech! Section again.

    Baby #4
    Scheduled c-section
    Peaceful, joking with doctors.
    Three happy siblings.

  17. Gail says

    Baby #1
    Two hours pushing.
    Sigh, episiotomy.
    What’s that on her neck?

    Baby #2
    Water breaks. I peed??
    No, let’s go to hospital.
    Dr. says induce.

    Baby #3
    Epidural doc
    went home and won’t come back. Jerk.
    Narcotic no help.

    Baby #4
    Bible and birth ball.
    Divine mercy chaplet soothes.
    This is more like it.

  18. says

    Still waiting for him
    Our precious bundle of joy
    Any day now *sigh*

    Maybe I’ll have another haiku for you in a few days :)

  19. says

    Baby #1

    Go to the bathroom.
    Nurse comes running when I scream.
    NOT poop! That’s a head!

    Baby #2

    This one’s a bit stuck.
    Tiny nurse climbs up on bed.
    Tummy pushes. BOY!

    Baby #3

    Troubled pregnancy.
    Will our baby be alright?
    Born without a hitch!

    Baby #4

    This one’s head is huge.
    Let’s induce or he’ll be stuck.
    It was big alright!

    Hey, that was fun! I so understand how you feel about natural childbirth. I had to do it, because there are no hospitals in our area that give epidurals. While they all ended up fine, and I did feel kind of proud of myself for enduring, I always dreamed of epidurals during the last month of pregnancy!

  20. says

    Water breaks, labor
    slows. Pitocin? No, she’s breech!
    Oh great! C-section.

    C-section. Arms stretched,
    I’m on the cross. Panic, pain
    don’t suffer in vain.


    Water breaks. Should I
    go? Slow progress. VBAC Fail.
    C-section again.

    Even with a planned
    c-section, there is plenty
    pain to offer up.


    Four days before plan
    contractions coming too fast
    He chose the right surgeon

  21. Kat says

    My St. Nicholas:

    Christmas lights on tree
    Whose idea was this?
    This boy’s a big’un!

  22. says

    Baby #1
    “If I lost that much
    blood,” my husband said later,
    “I’d be dead right now.”

    Baby #2
    Induction was slow.
    Baby took her own sweet time,
    stubborn from the start.

    Baby #3
    Pitocin and the
    epidural fought for me.
    Pitocin won. Ooooof.

    Baby #4
    A natural breech birth
    is like a small victory.
    My baby trophy.

  23. says

    I can’t do it without at least one line of explanation tailing each terrible poem, apparently — so forgive me. But here goes:

    Quickest Birth Story Version EVER for Baby 1

    Three Day labor sucks
    My baby girl had no pulse
    open heart success!!!

    Interrupted Aortic Arch won’t fit anywhere — 8 syllables :)

    Baby 2
    Novena answered
    Labor so smooth, all in doubt
    We named her Mary!!

    yeh my labor was so easy, no one even believed I was almost at the pushing stage — not the OB, doula, DH, triage… but smooth it was :)

  24. says

    Birth #1-
    Loved this!! It really is a great mental exercise as well!

    Birth #1-

    Bad med reaction
    Started shaking all over
    No more meds for me

    Birth #2-

    Non-med birth’s the goal
    Squatted to push baby out
    Doc almost missed birth!

  25. Joanne says

    30 Hours Labor
    Emergency C-Section
    Crazy Baby Boy

    Scheduled C-Section
    So much easier with rest
    Nursing still sucks, though

    What? I just did this
    Sixteen months ago, but it
    seems like yesterday

    Who knows, number four?
    Not due until October
    I am praying, hard

  26. says

    I love this idea! It was so much fun to read all the other entries! It’s been a while since I’ve written a haiku, but here goes…

    Baby #1:
    Late night water broke
    hospital, pitocin, yuck!
    perfect baby boy!

    Baby #2:
    Offered labor up
    all 26 hours
    perfect and natural

    Baby #3:
    planning a home birth
    previa meant section
    long days in NICU

    Baby #4:
    natural v-bac
    long labor- fast recover
    a sweet baby girl!

  27. says

    Never did this before. Interesting!

    Is this really labor?
    14 hours later?
    I have to have a c-section?!

    Pain coming fast
    4 hours passed
    what do you mean it’s too late for drugs?!

    Don’t send me home again!
    You can send me home but I’ll be waiting in your cafeteria.
    yikes, a 9lb 11oz baby!

    Baby very stuck
    epidural failed
    vacuum, forceps, vacuum and forceps again…

    Beautiful baby girl!

  28. says

    It’s one am here so I hope I’m counting syllables correctly.

    Midnight contractions
    Wild ride to the hospital
    Baby came so quick

    Friday morning start
    TV and card playing
    After lunch she’s here

    Foster Adoption
    Seventeen months of labor
    Joy to finalize

  29. says

    1st baby:

    Back pain, like cramping.
    Constant, no “off” time. Good thing
    doc said “come on in!”

    2nd baby:

    Ten pounds ten point five
    ounces. Epidural turned
    off at the end. OW.

    lousy haiku, but anything to entertain a nursing mama, looking for community in the glow of the computer. Been there. Kim Possible was a favorite at such moments but alas she is off the air. Praying for you and your family, and still grateful for yours! (I owe you an update and will try to remember to send it. Because yep, you’ve had plenty of time to wonder about me, I’m sure. But again–anything for the overnight drive entertainment factor.)

  30. says


    Wimpy Burger starts
    17 hours’ labour
    Ventouse delivered


    Waters broke, threw up
    Socks off hopped in pool so soon
    Peaceful birth at home


    Contractions in bed
    Get in pool for pain relief
    Welcome water babe.


    Is this false labour?
    Pool not full, two steps to bath
    Call midwife, he’s out!

  31. says

    These. Are. Hilarious!

    I attest to #1. So true, for me.

    Here’s my haiku for baby #2, my easiest delivery (as you can probably guess):

    They broke my water.
    Two to Ten in Five??
    Congrats! It’s a Girl!

  32. Amity says

    Waiting for sunset
    Floating up in the water
    His head in the caul

    Cherry pitting day.
    Clary sage: where can I poop?
    No stopping her now!

  33. CuppaJo says

    These are fabulous! Trying to narrow down all the memories and details into a couple of bright moments was a great exercise!

    Natural labor
    One day before scheduled C
    She was just ready!

    “You aren’t in labor.”
    Oh yes I am – time to push!
    Wow! That’s a BABY!

    (The last line, I actually yelled just as I delivered her – the whole LD staff cracked up, but I was just so overcome with awe and joy at the experience!!)

    #3 (due in October)
    Three more months to go
    Baby is restless, kicking.
    Not yet, little one!

  34. Johanna says

    Expecting child #1 in September!

    Natural childbirth
    Is my goal, but I expect
    The unexpected

    On the other hand:

    My mom pushed out five
    Grandma, seven. Sister, three
    Are my genes lucky?

    • Johanna says

      Hi Jennifer- To give you an update
      This doesn’t fit into a haiku:

      Saturday July 9, 2011 was 30 weeks and 1 day. Both my husband and my OB were outside of the country.
      I went into preterm labor. The baby was breech so with the company of Mary and the Rosary I went into emergency c-section (they discovered I had placental abruption) and Thomas Odell Lamb was born at 11:07 at 3lbs. 5oz. and 16 inches long. I guess the unexpected did happen but Praise God for a happy baby boy who is doing very well at the NICU

  35. Sandee says

    Preemie Labour watch
    Nurse thinks not yet – but I know
    Push time nearly here

    Incubator stay
    NG tubes and bili lights
    Little baby girl

    Midnight labour dash
    Epidural man asleep
    10 pound boy – yee-ow

    Induction easy
    Epidural is the best
    This third time’s the charm

  36. kk says

    “crisis pregnancy”
    20 year old with baby
    life changing – praise God!
    24, married
    water breaks 4 weeks early
    it’s a girl, pure joy!
    another so close
    normal, calm, home, tandem nurse
    big brother cuts cord!
    4 times and no drugs
    only home will do again
    true birthday party!

  37. rem says

    26 hours in labor
    Then surprise! It’s a redhead!
    I am so hungry

    Three weeks overdue
    Baby refuses to come
    Chris looks cute in scrubs

    C-section again
    Where are my abdominals?
    Shredded in my gut.

  38. Betsy M says

    10 weeks, no growth, pray,
    dark night, pain and despair, but
    you fixed my body

    Forty-two weeks, wow!
    comfy mommy, you won’t move,
    they broke my water

    sunny side up
    back labor, 4-hours pushing
    Thank God for Bradley

    3am bleeding
    prayers and tears waiting for news
    bed rest, she’ll be fine

    2 days later
    c-section 6 weeks early
    strong girl in NICU

    almost lost mommy,
    28 days in NICU
    all home and cuddling

  39. says

    4 babies at once
    Lots of doctors and nurses
    So much for normal!

    Here comes the surprise
    Who would have thought another
    A singleton girl

  40. says

    I am “patiently” awaiting the arrival of my first child. My doctor says she could come today or in three weeks. Due date July 24th.

    Seven months puking
    Waiting patiently right now
    Epidural, please

  41. Theresa Henderson says

    Blood clot in my foot
    No to abortion.
    Now I’ve 3 grandsons. Another one coming.


    • Theresa Henderson says

      My son was the only child I was ever to carry to term, i had a tipped uterus. Had I succumbed to fear, he’d not have been born and neither would my grandsons and the new baby who’ll be born in late-December-early-January. Neither would i have met the wonderful woman who would be my daughter-in-law.

  42. Elaine says

    5th child, first home birth
    Labor like falling on sharp stones.
    Thanksgiving, thankful!

    Baby C was born 12:35 am on Thanksgiving morning. 3rd natural labor, 1st homebirth, by far longest, hardest labor. Maybe b/c I’m 40?

  43. Marie says

    Just moved, jerk doctor,
    Hospital regulations.
    Lovely baby boy.

    Just moved, midwives now.
    So Jacuzzi tub, walking.
    Lovely baby boy.

    Midwives say, “Walk more”,
    order pizza. Their food comes.
    Boy comes now! Cold food.

    Labor stops and starts
    for four weeks. Finally! But,
    “Breathe now, girl”. She does.

    Midwives say, “Go home,
    Walk. Come back later.” Instead,
    boy born in wheelchair.

    Easy birth. Fast birth.
    Midwife completes paperwork,
    catches baby girl.

  44. says

    I have to give it a go!

    You made me a mom.
    Such a long wait but you were
    worth the whole journey.

    Three a.m. cab ride
    In Chicago winter…whew!
    Made it to E.R.!

    Third boy, sweet treasure.
    You stole a piece of my heart,
    and you still have it.

    “Christmas baby” here
    at Halloween! My best
    trick AND treat ever.

  45. says

    I cannot recall
    the trauma of birth at all.
    God is merciful.


    Love these, Jen! So funny.

    Btw, I’m lying, of course. I recall every horrific thing, but the merciful God part is true.

  46. says

    Okay, I’m going to try my hand at this one:

    Baby #1

    Huge parade balloon
    Gave birth to a pea-size boy
    Five weeks too early.

    Baby #2

    Water broke, two a.m.
    Contractions are three minutes.
    The nurse says, “Don’t sneeze.”

    Baby #3

    Doc broke my water
    My little girl couldn’t wait
    Doc nearly missed her

    Baby #4

    Laboring for two weeks
    Weak contractions, stubborn boy
    He’s now my climber.

  47. says

    Just thirty four weeks
    Breech, C-section, hemorrhage
    Yep, still a handful!

    V-day dinner date
    Oh no! Did my water break?
    Out in hour and half

    They didn’t believe me
    When I said my babes come quick
    Almost had no doc!

  48. Christine says

    Water breaks early
    No contractions, must induce
    Drug free labor – ugh!
    Fast labor again
    Screaming midwife jumps on bed
    Husband faints on floor

    Six year hiatus
    Calm midwife makes it all good
    Drug free birth still sucks

  49. says

    Now this looks fun….. I’m sure there’s nothing better I could be doing with my time… 😛

    natural childbirth
    didn’t know it hurt this much
    with help, I found peace

    water broke first thing
    it hurt more than the first time
    healthy baby boy

  50. says

    Now this looks fun….. I’m sure there’s nothing better I could be doing with my time… 😛

    natural childbirth!
    didn’t know it hurt this much…
    with help, I found peace

    water broke first thing
    it hurt more than the first time
    healthy baby boy

  51. Brydie says

    He’s lying sideways
    One foot all hanging down
    Crap, my liver’s failed.

    Tried for a VBAC
    Two days later, C-section
    Uterine window

    Schedule it this time
    Turkey cooks, potatoes boil,
    Labor, why so soon?

    Waited for schedule
    Just like that, quick and easy,
    Girls are different.

    Lost one, now I’m scared
    I’m old, people think I’m nuts
    Can’t wait to meet her

  52. says

    Surprised by the pain…
    Epidural not in the plan…
    Who am I kidding?

    Scary induction…
    Back labor is even worse…
    Oxygen then babe!

    Mag sucks, all hot and loopy.
    Epi failed, came fast!

    doula here to help.
    Avoiding epidural.
    Who am I kidding? 😉

  53. says

    “Man up with your pain —
    How hard can third section be?”
    …She really said that.

    (Yes, a female OB actually told me this after I had post-surgical complications that had me screaming when I tried to walk.)

  54. Erica says

    # 1
    Late night water breaks,
    No contractions, pitocin,
    Epidural, YES!

    dozing to a wee
    Heartbeat, then pushing out fine,
    Is she really mine?

    Late night water breaks,
    No contractions, pitocin,
    Epidural, WAIT!

    We are going down!

    dozing to a wee
    Heartbeat, then pushing out fine,
    My own dear sweet boy!

  55. Elaine says

    Cute idea & congratulations!! I just moved from Austin in Sept. Would’ve loved to have met you! I need to “properly” introduce myself…coming soon (I hope!).

    Side note, after living in Austin for nearly 20 years – all my adult life – I only saw one scorpion which was killed by my husband throwing a shoe at it (my hero). And I’ve never been stung/bitten/whatever, in bed or anywhere else.

    OK, here are my “stories”:

    Pushed nearly three hours
    “Sorry, she’s too big to fit.”
    Sectioned nine pound girl

    Successful VBAC
    Pushed for an hour-and-a-half
    Then epi! Yea! Boy!

    Due in December
    C-section or a VBAC?
    Lord, Your will be done.

  56. Shannon says

    First the water broke
    Next was thirty hours labor
    Emergency C

    Exhausted and sore
    Amazed at the miracle
    He made me a mom

  57. says

    You asked for them, I wrote them, and I’m not pitching them just because I’m a few days late! :-)

    Sent me home first, then
    epidural, extraction—
    Oh look! She knows me!

    Up at four with pains.
    Push at eight—no time for meds.
    This “girl” is a boy!

    Too soon, can’t stop them.
    Room empties for C-sec prep.
    But I’m first, she’s here.

    Walk, walk, thumbs in back,
    doc dressed like a sci-fi part.
    Three-push power! Sigh.

    Walk, thumbs, like before.
    Home in hours! Kids stream out to
    meet baby brother.

    First home birth. Nervous.
    But my boy comes through shadows
    And all shall be well.

    Perfect water birth
    at home. Then–the bliss! Heated
    sheets on my own bed!

    Me and him this time.
    I push her into his hands.
    Three of us, alone.

  58. says

    Couldn’t quite boil it down to a single haiku …

    Had a nice birth plan
    Baby’s late we must induce
    Pitocin brutal

    Epidural? Yes!
    Induction fail, C-section
    Perfect baby boy

  59. says


    Two weeks late; pushed all
    night at home — aspirated.
    Long week in NICU.


    Labor short 8 hours
    Didn’t realize when I pushed
    Second bad breather


    Was barely full-term
    Water-birthed, screaming baby!
    Hospital this time

  60. Sally Morgan says

    #1 ten days past due date
    8 hours pushing-cut rip
    pain-ah!10-5 son

    # 2 ten days past due date
    husband late-backseat labor
    squat on bed a girl

    #3 ten days past due date
    home-birth friends surround
    up to pee whoops -boy

    #4 labor? not yet due
    ?10cm? babe must turn ouch
    knees to ears-a girl

    #5 Cold December night
    warm at home in labor
    back pain-then daughter

  61. Maureen says

    Early Morning break
    Of sunlight and my water
    Inducement begins.

    Constipation- Not!
    Back Labor…time to push her
    out in record time!

    Two napping kids…whoops!
    Stand up- water breaks… a flood!
    baby on the way!

  62. Sarah says

    Hmm… let’s see…

    12 hours in labor
    Oh No! Still at 2cm
    Morphine makes it nice

    I cried when I heard that I was only 2cm after 12hrs! They would have sent me home had my bag not been ruptured:).

  63. says

    Oh, this is way too fun!!


    Planned for natural,
    But baby’s acynclitic.
    Section, here we come!

    Hypnobirth still helps
    Me stay calm through the epi.
    Not a fan of needles.

    24 hours
    after first contraction hit,
    Abigail is born!

    Penelope Jane:

    Hypnobabies this
    time–thought I’d change it up some.
    Psyched for my VBAC!

    OB hems and haws.
    “Hospital policy changed,
    no VBACS, sorry.”

    OB outta here!
    And I said, “Hello homebirth!”
    Found awesome midwife.

    First contraction hit.
    I thought, “Still plenty of time.”

    Five hours later, I
    have another baby girl.
    Got my heart’s desire.

  64. says

    What a fun idea!

    in honor of 30 hours of labor:

    Likes where he is now
    This was a bad idea
    Totally worth it

    And about early motherhood:

    Why did no one warn
    Pain and fatigue continue
    Fulfilled by deep love

  65. rachel says

    Late in posting this but catching up on blogs is hard with a new baby (born May 25!)

    Fifty-three hours–fun!
    A homebirth turned Pit party
    But I pushed her out!

  66. Steve says

    Melting exhaustion
    until your heart piercing cry
    changed me forever

    joy, schöner Götterfunken,
    Breathe in your new strength!

  67. Steve says

    Melting exhaustion
    until your heart piercing cry
    changed me forever

    joy, schöner Götterfunken,
    Breathe in your new strength!

    (Not sure if I the last attempt worked)

  68. Mary Sangster says

    twenty-two hours in
    surgery ends laboring
    sweet boy in our arms

    another big one
    surgery scheduled, at peace
    little sister in our arms

  69. Petra says

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  70. Raven says

    Sorry, couldn’t fit it in one Haiku, so here’s a Haiku story.

    Tantrums stop labour.
    A stressed woman will not birth.
    Labours start again.

    Midwives hide upstairs.
    Please body, release the babe.
    It hurts so much! Why?

    Please! Epidural!
    They all ignore me. Thank you.
    She comes. Perfection.