I‘m flying out for that filming of LOTR next week, and I’m worried that I haven’t been getting enough mileage out of the fact that Life on the Rock uses the same acronym as the Lord of the Rings. I’ve tried my best to work it into conversation, but I’ve found that the acronym thing just doesn’t work that well when it’s spoken. When I say, “Hey, I’m going to be part of L-O-T-R!” people don’t make the connection between the Lord of the Rings acronym, they wonder why I didn’t just say the name of the show, and it’s weird. Then I tried doing it in writing. I told a friend “I’ll be at the LOTR studio on Thursday — hope I don’t run into any hobbits!” and she was like, “Why would there be hobbits? I thought it was run by the friars of the Franciscan Missionaries of the Eternal Word.”
This has become a high priority for me, as I will feel like this whole trip to Birmingham will have been an incomplete experience if I don’t get at least one good LOTR joke out of it.
We’re moving. I don’t know where to, we’re just…moving. Don’t be shocked if I and my five kids show up at your house tomorrow and ask if we can crash at your place for a while.
[That last take was my attempt to convey the sound of a shriek of mortal terror-anger-despair. Not sure if I quite captured it.]
Right after I finished typing take #1, my son was stung in the face by a scorpion while he was sitting on the couch. I will not be able to write anything else today, because I need to go stare at my couch and scream. If you would like more details, you can see the blow-by-blow tweets from this afternoon, or just wait for the epic post that is sure to follow.
For your viewing pleasure, I took a video of what happened after I hosed this thing down with Raid. AFTER. See? It’s like it liked it! I daresay this thing was frolicking on my chair, just waiting for a tophat and cane to do a little rendition of Singing in the Raid. (By the way, you should probably watch it on mute. I didn’t entirely intend to put it on my blog when I decided to hit that Record button on my phone, and thus I cannot be held responsible for anything I said during the filming.)
UPDATE: No, I have no idea what that green goo is that you can see on the back of the chair at :20.
UPDATE #2: Dorian Speed‘s review of my directorial debut is in:
I watched your short film. I am still processing my trauma. Gritty realism; horror; impotence as Raid proves worse than useless. I felt I was THERE.