7 Quick Takes Friday (vol. 205)

— 1 —

We have an air date for the final episode of Minor Revisions! It will air this Thursday, February 7th, at 9 PM ET (8 PM CT). For those of you who missed it, Episode 2 will air an hour earlier, at 8 PM ET. I’m warming up my Twitter account now.

— 2 —

Did I mention that I am a producer? That’s right, the actual producer of Minor Revisions ever so generously named me a co-producer, and I even now have my own IMDB page that confirms it! You have NO IDEA how much mileage I’m going to get out of this. I’ve been spending an extremely inappropriate amount of time thinking about this, and here are some initial ideas (just thought starters here — many, many more to come):

  • When I call a restaurant to make dinner reservations, use a fake voice and say, “I’m calling to make a reservation for the PRODUCER, Jennifer Fulwiler. Is your best table available tonight?” (I realize that I currently can only afford to dine at Chili’s when we go out, and I’m not sure that they take reservations. But it’s worth a shot. Maybe I’ll get the table right under the blinking neon pepper.)
  • Start spouting off bold, controversial opinions about popular TV shows, declaring authoritatively which ones should be enshrined among the classics and which are an embarrassment to the human species. Barely contain my eagerness as I wait for someone to say, “What on earth gives you the authority to say that?” And then I can respond with well-rehearsed nonchalance, “Well, I am a producer.”
  • Use this credential to sneak my way on to the set of Season 4 of Downton Abbey and fix all this nonsense I’ve been hearing about (no, I still haven’t watched Season 3, but I’ve heard rumors). This idea is not as fleshed out as the others. I mean, I’m not entirely clear on how I will translate my sparse IMDB page to me hanging out with Julian Fellowes and having him beg for my feedback on what he can do better, so I’m open to ideas on this one. Remember, there are no bad ideas in brainstorming.

— 3 —

The producer (not me, the real one) emailed me to say that they’re putting together an official show logo thingy soon. I don’t know what the term is for this kind of thing. It’s one of these:

She asked if I could go ahead and send over a current full-body picture of myself for their graphics team to work with. I tried to find a polite way to say “THERE IS NO WAY.” I mean, I could have some fun with it if I didn’t currently look and feel like a beached whale, but, as it is, “Taking head-to-toe photos of myself to be widely distributed in a public forum” is about #1,708 on my List of Things I Am Inclined to Do Right Now. It wouldn’t even be a good representation of the show, considering that it was all filmed back in the days when I was still among the living. Any shots of me taken today would mislead people into thinking that the show is about people who are angry about being tired.

— 4 —

No one has ever been more anxious to see a month end. It began with the pulmonary embolisms. Then I continued to feel worse, even as my lungs got better, and it turned out I’m seriously anemic. Then my grandfather got sick. Then our babysitter got sick. Then our backup babysitter got sick. Then, with babysitters still out of commission, both of our moms went out of town at the same time. Then our son started throwing up. The day he finally got better, our five-year-old vomited all over the dinner table. Yesterday was the big day that my mom was finally back in town, and I hesitantly but hopefully called her to emphasize how very much her grandchildren missed her (which was true, but also a not-so-thinly-veiled hint that she invite them all to come visit IMMEDIATELY)…and as soon as she picked up the phone, I could hear that she is now sick too.

I emailed Joe to tell him of this latest development. He replied:

I feel like Samuel L. Jackson on Snakes on a Plane. “I am getting *&^$#^ tired of these *&&$% snakes up on this &*$# plane!”

Except for me it’s not snakes. It’s life.

— 5 —

…But on the bright side, at least he didn’t eat calamari that turned out to be pig rectums!

(via the Perfect Health Diet blog, where I get amazing health advice as well as all my accidental-pig-rectum-eating-related news.)

— 6 —

I should amend #4 to note that the puking thing is my fault. Short of running out onto our back porch and shouting at the universe that I JUST DARE IT to send the stomach flu to our house, there is nothing I could have done to call down the ire of the Puke Fates (the delinquent cousins of the Poop Fates) that I did not already do.

You see, the day after I got home from the hospital I was on the phone with a friend, and noted, “IT IS AMAZING THAT NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE HAS BEEN SICK SINCE 2009!!!!!” (I didn’t actually shout the statement, but that’s the only proper way to type up that kind of maniacal hubris.) “SERIOUSLY, THE LAST TIME ANYONE AROUND HERE CAUGHT ANYTHING MORE THAN A COLD WAS OVER THREE YEARS AGO,” I continued, the vague rumbling I heard in the background being the Puke Fates gathering to unleash their fury. “AND OUR YOUNGER KIDS EVEN GO TO PRESCHOOL A COUPLE MORNINGS EACH WEEK. I GUESS WE JUST HAVE IMPENETRABLE IMMUNE SYSTEMS OR SOMETHING, HA HA HA!!!” I should have immediately pulled up my calendar and put “Everyone in House Vomiting Up Everything But Their Toenails” for the entire next week.

— 7 —

To end the week with a bang, I present to you Les Miserables, the gluten-free version (courtesy of Kathleen).


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  1. says

    I’m so glad the second episode is re-airing! I only caught the first one because it was on YouTube and I thought I would never be able to see the second one (now why exactly isn’t it on YouTube too?) This is going on my calendar now!

  2. says

    So glad the second episode is re-airing! I missed it because I had a sick kid.

    And yes, January is SOOO fired. A cat bite infection for me, a stomach bug for my son, RSV (and a week in the hospital) for my son, and a kidney infection (which I apparently had for a month before we caught it) for me.

  3. says

    I read these 7 quick takes on several weblogs now, and finally I can join in, even though my weblog is in Dutch. Thank you so much for hosting this, great fun!

    kind regards,

  4. says

    I really wish they’d put episode 2 & 3 of MR on youtube as well. The family does not take kindly to me postponing their dinner (I’m in CA) so I can watch the show live. They are still trying to comprehend how I can talk about someone as if she were a friend when she actually doesn’t even know that I exist. Hey, if people can root for their fave athletes and wear their numbers while watching the super bowl, I can cheer on one of my favorite Catholic mama bloggers/producers! 😉

    • Michelle says

      I am so with you!!! My family is a bit worried about me for the same reason! Some read the trashy grocery checkout aisle mags; I read Catholic mom blogs……

  5. Kirsten says

    Hi! I’ve enjoyed your blog for some time now and I’m happy the 3rd episode will air soon! I will absolutely do my best to see the whole episode but since I’m from Holland I can only watch it at three in the morning… Hopefully my collegues will understand that I might close my eyes at some point during the next day again!:) Is there any chance that episodes 2&3 will be on youtube aswell (for your fans abroad!)?

  6. says

    Jen, I’m praying for a better February for you and your family. I’ve so appreciated the way you’ve blogged through the horribleness that was the pulmonary embolism episode. Those posts–about heeding the voice of the Spirit and letting go of plans–continue to resonate with me days and weeks after the fact.

    And please, use those newfound powers to do something about Downton Season 4. And hurry up the production schedule on it, would ya? Thanks :)

  7. says

    Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for how hard things have been, you guys are still in our prayers.
    But Joe’s response… Samuel L Jackson… snakes on a plane… I really might be laughing all day thinking about that

  8. says

    I love the GF Les Mis. I saw it last night and I got some good laughs. I have been doctor-“suggested” GF for almost a month. I can relate to those poor people in the video.
    My January wasn’t so bad until yesterday, but it looks like I’m not the only one who’s sad to see it go. I hope you have a better February!

  9. says

    Thanks for the link, Jen! We also have been spared thus far the plagues prowling about the earth. But I’m afraid our luck will be jinxed by typing this comment.

  10. says

    Your quick takes are hilarious. And seriously…I learned long ago not to ever even WHISPER how long it has been since anyone in our house was sick because I think I got something and as we all know, it is NOT GOOD for mommy to be sick. ever. no, really. ever.

    I hope you all feel better soon and you keep getting your rest!!! Can’t wait to watch some more of your show!

  11. says

    Poor girl! This too shall pass, but I think if I was you that comment would make me want to strangle, er, me. (Did that make any sense whatsoever? Thought not.)

  12. Kimberley Dierdorf says

    I too would love to have episodes 2 & 3 on Youtube as well since the time differences don’t allow me to watch the show live. I am glad that you and the family are feeling better

  13. Maggie says

    Thank you so much for the One More Grain video. We’ve been living/struggling with food allergies for the past year; it gave me a much needed laugh.

    Yeah, we were just talking about our amazing health a few weeks ago too and now BAM…sickness is here as well. Sigh.

    Prayers to you and your family.

  14. says

    Okay, we’ve all thoroughly recovered from our horrible flu. So if you really desperately need someone to come over and help, I can make a trip over from Houston.

  15. Anne says

    I loudly laughed out loud at the ending of the One Grain More video. Hahahaha! (I also am saying a prayer for your family’s health and a helping hand right now.)

  16. Laura M says

    #2 LOL. Thank you for making my day better
    #4 I’ve alwayshated Januaru and it didn’t dissapoint. Here’s to a friendlier and shorter! month)

  17. says

    I did the exact same thing with the stomach flu…got a little cocky because we hadn’t had it for over 3 years and then, wham, it started in our house. Right now it has only been 1 person per week, which I think is better than all 9 of us at once. God Bless.

  18. says

    I really hope things are better in February and I am really trying not to laugh but I do think this is probably your funniest quick takes post ever. You know, except for all those other funny ones…

    Congrats on being a producer!

  19. says

    Ugh, we have been so sick lately (but not quite pulmonary embolism sick). We got super sick in November and it was weeks before the nausea disappeared. Turns out there’s a new strain of norovirus (stomach flu) traveling around.

    Do you get to wear cool Downton Abbey dresses for Minor Revisions logo?? You’re a producer, make it happen!

  20. Cordelia says

    Jen, I think this is your most hilarious 7QT post yet! You are totally my favourite blogging lemonade-maker. (You know, “When life hands you a lemon…”)

    And I’ll keep thinking about the “us producers, me & Julian” thing – it just might save the show if we could pull it off. Otherwise… Otherwise maybe you and Joe should quit your day jobs and write a show together!

  21. Kim says

    Jennifer, your blog always has me laughing out loud! As the mom of four little ones and one on the way (who are all gluten free) this one takes the cake :) I absolutely love you’re humor and writing style. Thank you!

  22. says

    HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! LOVED gluten-free Les Mis video – thank you for making my day! Glad you’re able to write about the Puke Fest with humor; I’m sure it’s had a plethora of non-funny moments. Praying for you and your family!

  23. says

    Lol, Jennifer, your blog always makes me laugh. It is inspiring how you can joke and be positive, even though you are going through a rough time. We are praying for you.

  24. says

    I am catching this a little late (it’s Saturday), but your Quick Takes have me laughing as usual. So sorry to hear you’ve been sick though–we have been sick too, although no one has puked everything up except their toenails. Though I did see questionable things in their vomit, haha. (Just kidding, I don’t actually look through their vomit.)

  25. says

    I want to thank you very sincerely for the public service this post has performed. I was gathering up steam to recklessly point out that we had made it through cold and flu season relatively unscathed when my friend cut me short. “Don’!!” she warned, “Remember what happened to Jennifer Fulwiler!”

    We have coined a new term for this tempting the viruses that be sort of thing: Pulling a Fulwiler (Patent Pending).