Joe has been working late all this week, so I’ve been living a life of Grace — not like supernatural assistance, though I’ve needed that too. Grace like Grace Patton. This thing of doing breakfast and lunch and dinner and bathtime and bedtime for a bunch of young children all by yourself, for multiple days in a row, all to the soundtrack of whines and screams…it is INTENSE.
I had to restrain myself from sending Grace encouraging texts like “how do u survive this bad life?” and “tell Simon to quit residency now because YOU CANNOT DO MUCH MORE OF THIS!!!!” Instead I just drank hot toddies and spent an obscene amount of time on Twitter.
What makes me even more lame is that I did have some help. After a long and sad babysitting drought, I’ve been able to have a wonderful family friend come to help. It struck terror into my heart when she recently mentioned that she might be allergic to our cat. I had the One-Eyed Cat for Sale eBay ad typed up in my mind before I even finished reading her text, but then I remembered that some people around here might have a problem with that:
Cat allergy people, what can we do about this? Would it work to have the cat stay upstairs while she’s here, or would it be better to burn down the house and reconstruct it out of allergen-free titanium that does not attract fur or dander? I’m open to all possibilities, because NO CAT SHALL STAND BETWEEN ME AND A GOOD BABYSITTER.
(Sorry for all the caps lock. It’s been a long week.)
Hey, my conversion story talk has been published by Lighthouse! You can get it now by joining their CD of the Month Club, which has some great stuff. If you have big questions about theology or morality or prayer or other deep subjects, Lighthouse is a fantastic resource. They have tons of short talks by brilliant and talented people (and me), and the content is entertaining in addition to covering fascinating subject matter. If you don’t do the CD of the Month club and just want to get my talk, you can do so March 1.
I recorded that talk in my car. In the garage. In the middle of summer. Speaking into an extremely sensitive microphone was a journey of discovery in which I realized that there is not a single silent place in this house — even in the upstairs closet it still sounded like I was recording in a house of horrors with really whiney ghosts. So I ended up in my car.
It was about 10, 000 degrees in the garage, and even hotter in the vehicle. All through the talk I fought being distracted by sweat dripping into my eyes and the occasional glance of a moldy milk bottle sticking out from under a seat. When I came back inside, it looked more like I’d been wrestling crocodiles than recording a conversion story.
When you hear it, you’ll have to tell me if you can hear the impending heat stroke in my voice.
We’re very close to signing a contract for the new venue for the conference, at which point we’ll finally be able to tell you all the fabulous details! Funny story about the previous location that fell through:
When I first toured the property, the friendly manager asked me a bit about my event. I was extremely distracted by chasing my children, who were acting like homeschooled shut-ins who were awed to experience the amazing outside world (oh, wait…), but I managed to get out that I have a partner named Hallie, we each have six kids, we’re only inviting women, people will pay to attend, and there may be a contest involving ridiculous prizes based on outrageous dress.
When we were done with the tour, she asked if I’d like to book the place for my wedding. When I explained that it’s not a wedding, she was flummoxed. With a description like that, what other type of occasion could it be?
We’re very open-minded here in Austin.
Joe and I are going to the Austin Bar Association Gala tomorrow. It’s a fancy black-tie event where I will know nobody, so it’s right up my alley. (How it can possibly be that I am a super-introvert who would happily go to something like this every weekend, I will never understand.) Anyway, it’s an endless source of entertainment when I’m at an event where people know Joe and his resume but do not know me. I have the following conversation every ten minutes:
THEM: Are you also an attorney?
THEM: Did you meet at Yale?
THEM: Did you also go to business school at Stanford?
THEM: Ah. Where did you say you work again? [Clearly expecting me to say that I’m an investment banker who runs a tech startup on the side, since that’s who someone like Joe must be married to.]
ME: I don’t. Although I got what was either snot or vomit out of this one part of the couch today, if you count that.
THEM: [Awkward silence.]
ME: I have a blog.
If I were to offer an ebook freebie, what would you want it to be about? Here’s why I ask:
I’m putting together a virtual goodie bag as a thank-you to everyone who pre-orders the book, and I’m creating some new content to offer as short ebooks. I already have a couple of ideas in the works, but I’m not sure if they’ll pan out, so I’d like to hear your suggestions. Is there any topic I could address that would make a good, short book (about 20 – 30 pages)? If there’s anything I could write that would be helpful to you, please let me know!
UPDATED TO ADD: You should know that I am eagerly awaiting your answers to this one, because I know that you’re not going to be able to resist making suggestions like How to Fail at Killing Scorpions on Carpet.