(Okay, okay, it was less that I was “hanging out with The Glitch Mob” and more that I was “staring at them while they ate.” See #5 for details.)
How did I not think to have a contest for best Amazon customer image? How could I have missed the obvious synergy between this category and the categories of Most Epic Selfie, Weirdest Place, (and, perhaps, Create a SOTG Drink)?!
I suppose I shouldn’t keep adding categories to the official contest, but if you’d like to share your artistic talent with the good people of Amazon in the form of a customer image, you can do so here. You’ll instantly win the prize of me gazing at your picture with joy.
Would you believe me if I told you that my post about my epic monster truck tour of Birmingham did not contain every astoundingly ridiculous thing that happened that day? There was one moment so poetic, so absurdly poignant that it deserves its own space. I will now share it with you here:
To recap: I sat in the Austin airport for hours due to a delay, missed my connection in Atlanta, arrived in Birmingham at midnight after a harrowing flight in a middle seat, found out that my rental would be a monster truck, almost got the monster truck stuck in the parking garage, and realized that I would have no dinner because the hotel restaurant was closed.
I finally arrived in my hotel room close to 1 AM, exhausted and starving. In an attempt to end the day on a positive note, I thought it would be nice to dig into the hotel’s complimentary spa products and enjoy a long soak in the bath.
And I walked into the bathroom to see: All cilantro bath products.
When I posted that picture on Twitter, I immediately got a bunch of responses from people who pointed out that the soap says coriander, not cilantro. They claimed that coriander is “totally different” from cilantro.
I didn’t get into it that night (which was out of character for me, since getting in heated discussions about cilantro on Twitter would probably get its own segment in a pie graph of how I spend my time), but I guess my main issue with that claim would be that it’s wrong.
I mean, yeah, one is a seed and one is a leaf. To my mind, however, that is irrelevant. It’s like that movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers, where the life-sucking aliens spawned from pods. Nobody was like, “Don’t even worry, that’s just a pod that spawns the life-sucking alien, not the alien itself — they’re TOTALLY DIFFERENT.”
Previous to this incident, I would have thought that it doesn’t get worse than having a “flight gets delayed and you miss your connection and the rental car company gives you a monster truck and you don’t get dinner and you end up with all cilantro bath products” kind of day. Now I see that it can actually be worse, like when you have a “flight gets delayed and you miss your connection and the rental car company gives you a monster truck and you don’t get dinner and you end up with all cilantro bath products and nobody on Twitter feels your pain” kind of day.
(Someone please note this for my cause for canonization.)
It had been a while since we’d seen a scorpion, but the kids and Yaya found one on the ground by the front door while I was out running errands this morning.
I didn’t say anything about it on social media, since it was the kind of morning where poisonous arachnids in my house didn’t even make it on my radar. Yet shortly after the incident, I saw this tweet:
I will never see the #SOTG hashtag the same way again.
My monster truck tour of Birmingham aside, the traveling I’ve done lately has actually gone pretty smoothly. A cool story from a speaking trip in March that I keep meaning to tell you about:
I got my usual chopped brisket sandwich at the Austin airport, but there weren’t any tables left. The only place to sit was a lone chair at a table that was mostly occupied by a group of guys with tattoos and black leather jackets. It was the kind of setup where people shared tables, so I sat down right next to them.
While I ate, I decided to play Sherlock Holmes and deduce what must be going on with them. I observed their interactions (because evidently I’m a creepy stalker who stares at people at restaurants while pretending to be a fictional character), and noticed the following:
- It’s a group of men traveling together, leaving the Live Music Capitol of the world.
- They’re going to their destination by flying (as opposed to driving).
- They seem to be very intelligent, and are having an analytical discussion about budgeting matters.
- They’re mentioning multiple cities in their discussion, seemingly future destinations.
- When they speak of their travel, they use words that imply routine, like again and usually and always.
- They all have leather jackets, tattoos, earrings, etc., or some other edgy element to their look.
From this information, I deduced that this is a successful band, probably punk or electronica, that is on tour and not from Austin. And because evidently my theme for the year is forcing unsuspecting musicians to talk to me, I turned to the guy nearest to me and asked him if my suspicions were correct.
He was incredibly friendly, and confirmed that, yes, they’re a group called The Glitch Mob. We had a nice chat about their tour, and I excused myself to go to my gate.
As I was walking it occurred to me that I had definitely heard of them, and I looked them up to see that they have a huge following. I was kicking myself for not getting a picture with them!
I’m not sure what the moral of the story is here: Guys in cutting-edge electronica bands are really nice? It pays to stare at people in restaurants? Always get a picture if you think the people next to you might be in a band?
Don’t forget: Anyone who mentions Something Other than God (with a link to where you can buy it!) in today’s 7 Quick Takes post is automatically eligible to win awesome things!
It’s Mother’s Day this weekend! I always forget about things like that since celebrating special occasions is not the love language of brains in jars. I’m speaking at the Central Texas Coalition for Life ladies’ brunch on Saturday, and then I think our big plans for Sunday are to sleep and rest a lot.
God bless all you mothers out there, and may God especially bless those of you who would like to be mothers but have not yet been able to — you are in my prayers in a special way this weekend.