I’ll arrive at the hospital at 6:00 tomorrow (Monday) morning to begin the induction. To be honest I feel more apprehensive than excited. I just don’t know what to expect with this induction and the doctors being so nervous about it all, and then just the usual worries of going from one to two children. But I know it will all be wonderful and what I’m about to experience is nothing short of a miracle. Sometimes it’s easy to get bogged down in the details and forget that I’ll have a little baby girl to bring home.
I’ve felt like God has had a hand in much of this, like there’s a particular purpose to all that’s transpired. I’ll elaborate on what I think that purpose might be in another post. But I definitely feel like God is looking out for us.
When I first felt the pain in my calf a couple of weeks ago I knew what it was. I saw the writing on the wall and knew that everything about this pregnancy was going to change quickly. I felt helpless because it seemed like nobody knew what to do — the midwives, my general doctor, even the doctor at the Heart Hospital Emergency Room didn’t seem to be confident in their diagnoses and didn’t know what to tell me. I needed help. And not just from any doctor. I knew that I would probably end up being referred to other specialists and probably an OB/GYN, and I know that doctors tend to refer to other doctors who are like themselves, so I had to get it right the first time. I didn’t have time to shop around and find just the right doctor. I needed someone who was good, who could help me, and ideally who would respect the difficult position I was in of having to change everything about the birth plan at the last minute. Quite a few doctors around here are notorious for their open hostility to midwives and their clients, and while they’re entitled to their opinions, it’s not something I felt like I could handle well with everything else going on.
So I looked up the Cardiologist section of my insurance’s Preferred Providers booklet, picked out the first name I saw, said a little prayer, and made an appointment. And this cardiologist has turned out to be one of the best doctors I’ve ever had. And he then referred me to great hematologist, who referred me to the kind, understanding OB/GYN who’ll be delivering my baby. All three doctors great — especially the OB, which makes all the difference. I am so grateful for how well that worked out, for the great care I’ve received.
So please pray for the safety of the baby; and for me that I can let go of my nervousness and apprehension, trust in God, and appreciate the profundity of this priceless, undeserved gift that I am about to receive.
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