I think God’s trying to tell me to call the exterminator

July 8, 2007 | 6 comments

There’s been a battle raging the past few days between my laziness and my fear of scorpions: I really don’t feel like dealing with an exterminator visit again…yet my attempts to just forget about the fact that there is a vengeful scorpion lurking somewhere in the vicinity of my bedroom or bathroom have not been successful.

And then I hear this gem as part of the readings at Mass last night: “Behold, I have given you the power to ‘tread upon serpents’ and scorpions.”

Since my attempts to tread upon scorpions have been wildly unsuccessful, I will take this to mean that God is telling me to get the exterminator back here.

Also, nice to know that my house is infested with creatures so awful that God calls them out by name in his sacred text. I’ll have to remember this when one-upping friends with roaches: “Oh, yeah? I guess I was just thinking that scorpions are worse seeing as how they are specifically MENTIONED IN THE BIBLE and all. For all we know God likes roaches! We can be assured by Scripture, however, that he is anti-scorpion.”


  1. Amber

    I’ve been reading that passage all week as I prepared for this Sunday’s Mass and I thought of you every time. 🙂

    Good luck!

  2. Darwin

    Maybe that just means that next time you see the blighter, you should step on him hard.

    Of course, I don’t think it’s cheating the biblical meaning at all to wear shoes while doing this. I think that falls under the dictum of, “Pray as if everything depended on God, but work as if everything depended on you.”

  3. Melanie B

    I also thought of you when I read that passage.

    I love darwin’s suggestion. Though I’m not sure how well I’d be able to follow it myself.

  4. beez

    And yet, he did, in fact, create scorpions. So, it’s pretty obvious that they have some purpose.

    Look at it this way, Jen:

    1) You have scorpions.
    2) You write funny posts about your scorpions.
    3) I am entertained by your posts about scorpions.

    Therefore, God created scorpions to entertain me. 🙂

  5. Stevie

    You crack me up!! I know it’s not funny to you – but I always know I’m in for a good laugh when I see a scorpion post!

  6. Stephanie

    I thought of you as I heard that reading at mass as well, lol!

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