Trusting God with your dreams (a book update)

January 29, 2009 | 46 comments

Some of you have kindly asked how the book is going. Here’s my response.

I’ve always wanted to write a book. I can’t remember a time when that wasn’t one of my biggest dreams.

After my conversion my vision for what mattered in life changed drastically (as I wrote about here), and I found great peace with letting go of the specifics of my “life goals” list. I began to focus more on just serving God right here, right now, learning to be willing to follow his path without a roadmap to show me where I was going. Specifically, one of the things involved with that was to make a conscious effort to trust God with my writing.

Starting about the time I graduated from college, each New Year the top of my resolutions list always had something like “Get article published” or “Start working on book.” For various reasons, it never happened. Then, in 2008, I decided to just turn it over to God. I resolved not to bang my head against this particular door anymore: I would keep my ear to the ground for opportunities and maybe submit some things for publication if an opportunity presented itself, but I wouldn’t stress and stay up too late and shirk my daily household duties to make it happen. If it were God’s will, I would be able to do it peacefully, calmly, within the boundaries of my vocation.

That year I had five paid articles published (including a cover piece in a national magazine), and all of the opportunities just fell into my lap. In every case but one the editors contacted me.

At the same time, I had also prayed that God let me know if/when it was the right time for me to write a book. I wanted to write something about my conversion, but once again resolved that I wouldn’t force it. I trusted that God would let me know when it was the right time. Within the next few months a random seating mixup at a wedding left me sitting next to the nonfiction acquisitions editor at one of the major publishing houses, who happened to work a lot with the religion market and had shared some critical advice with me about writing a religious memoir; then I was contacted by an acquisitions editor at a small publisher about possibly writing a book for them; then I had a literary agent (from a great secular agency) suggest enthusiastically that I write a memoir about my conversion.

All that is to say, it really seemed like God was giving me a big, huge green light in the book writing department.

But, ironically, all this confirmation temped me to fall back into my controlling, untrusting ways. My mentality was something like, “Thanks for letting me know that you’re going to hook up a book deal for me, Lord! I’ll take it from here. I’ll get back to you when it’s time to start talking advances. See ya later!”

I signed a contract with the agent, set deadlines for myself that were aggressive yet doable (according to my plans, anyway), and got right to work. When I sent the agent the first few chapters he said they were “very good” (yes, I stared at the word “very” on my monitor until it was burned into my retina). Boy, trusting in the Lord sure did lead to great times!

And then I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant.

All my writing deadlines had hinged on a tight little system I’d come up with where I’d get up two hours earlier than the kids every day to work on the book. The increased sleep needs that came with pregnancy demolished that time; I could no longer get up even ten minutes before the kids, let alone two hours. Then weeks and weeks of morning sickness ensued. Writing in rushed spurts here and there through a nauseated, exhausted haze was a whole lot different than my original vision of long, quiet mornings spent typing and pausing for reflection while sipping coffee.

Then Thanksgiving, Advent and Christmas rolled around, the pregnancy fatigue got worse, and I barely had the energy to do the bare minimum to make it a special season for my family. The closest I came to writing was to glance at the untouched memoir.doc icon on my computer and sigh. If I were to put my vocation as wife and mother first, I simply did not have the time or the energy to get anything done on the book*.

Over the past few weeks I’ve watched all the deadlines I set for myself fly by. “I have to get the first draft finished by January first!” I announced dramatically this fall.

Then, as it became clear that that was impossible, I said in my most grave voice (as if using a really serious voice this time would make it more likely to actually happen), “OK, but seriously, I totally have to get it done before the new baby gets here!”

It’s recently become clear that that won’t be possible either. And once the new baby arrives, I can’t imagine how I’ll make much progress with a newborn in addition to three other children, all under age five, three of them in diapers. Maybe I won’t.

I struggled with this a lot recently. Of course new life is always a blessing; it’s just that after three babies in four years and some exciting plans all laid out for the coming year, I was planning to, umm, wait a little while longer to be blessed again. And normally I might be more easygoing about letting go of my vision for the future in order to accommodate a new pregnancy, but this is a dream I’ve had since elementary school, and it really seemed like I was on the fast track to seeing it come true in the near future. For a while I had a lot of mixed feelings: one the one hand I was, of course, deeply grateful for the gift of a new child; on the other hand, it was just hard to get peace about the timing of it all, about all my nice, neat little plans getting thrown so far off track.

But what I’ve learned is this:

I’ve learned that God sometimes does send us signposts to give us confirmation to go down a certain path — as I believe he did with all those “coincidences” that led to big breaks with my writing last year — but they’re just that: signposts. They’re not maps. They tell us nothing more than to take a few more steps this direction, for now. I fell into the temptation to mix up my own desires for the final destination with the simple message to just keep stepping down this one path for this moment.

I’ve learned that just because we might receive all sorts of great consolations and lucky breaks and positive feelings to help us get started on some work God wants us to do, we have to ultimately want to do the work because it comes from God, and not because it’s fun and it feels good. The consolations don’t always last. But, like Mary in the months and weeks and years after the Annunciation, we have to proceed in faith and love, even when the angel doesn’t stick around to give us a pat on the back every time the going gets rough.

I’ve learned that this is where the rubber meets the road in terms of all my big talk about it being some kind of “call” from God for me to write the story of my conversion. If I truly believe that writing this book is in God’s plan for me, what else do I really need to know? I think the Creator of the universe could find a way to make it happen, even if his timetables look nothing like mine. And I know that I am called to be a wife and mother first and foremost, and that any authentic plan from God’s always has room for new life, however unexpected.

I’ve learned that all my angst about missed deadlines and fear of losing my agent and not ever being able to finish this work ultimately can only stem from one of two things: either I don’t really believe that God called me to do it, or I’m just not willing to truly trust and relinquish control and admit that it might not play out the exact way I wanted it to. I’ve realized recently that it’s the latter.

So there is my book update. I don’t know when it will be done. Honestly, I don’t see how it possibly could get done. And I have no guarantee that it will ever be published. But after a lot of prayer (and, OK, whining and complaining and melodramatic woe-is-me proclamations), the Holy Spirit has finally dragged me kicking and screaming to a place where I have a surprising amount of peace with placing my unfinished manuscript at the feet of the Lord, and finally meaning it when I say, “Thy will be done.”

* In case anyone is noting that I blogged through all this and wondering why I didn’t use blogging time for book writing time, the answer is that, oddly, they’re two totally different activities for me: book writing is hard work, whereas blogging is not. Unlike writing for the book, when I finish a blog post I’m actually more energized and relaxed than before I started, so it’s very easy to keep up with even when I’m tired and busy.


  1. Jane @ What About Mom?

    Jennifer, I love your posts, love your thoughts, love your clear, narrative style.

    But. It’s so hard for me to understand the unexpectedly getting pregnant, more than once. I understand you don’t use anything but awareness of your fertile times (?), but I still just don’t get it.

    I mean, is your husband just a complete horndog? Because usually I think I’d prefer my husband to be a tad (or a LOT) more amorous. But not if it meant having four kids under 5 years of age.

    On the blog writing v. book writing — I’m obviously nowhere near as skilled as you, but I’m thinking maybe you should approach your book writing as you do blog writing, especially for the first draft. Your informal style is so enjoyable, why tinker (much) with a formula that already works so well for you?

  2. Jean

    Your last comments at end of this post got me to thinking. Is blogging style God really want you do do as opposed to conventional book writing style? Maybe God know you better than you really know yourself?

    I am not Catholic but I do find your writing extremely interesting. Particularly since you aren’t trying to push Catholicism on those who aren’t… focusing on relationship between self and God. My husband was raised a Catholic. Both of us are born-again Christians.

    Keep on writing as you see fit according to time frame God has given you! 🙂

  3. Dorothy

    Do not fret, little one, all in God’s time (as you’ve already realized). Perhaps your book will be published when you’re 85. (I’ve just had a piece that I wrote 15 years ago picked up by MercatorNet!) God bless you. I love your writing. Besides, you’ll reach more people on the internet than with a book — though it will look nice on a shelf.

  4. Tami Boesiger

    This is a timely post for me, Jennifer. I, too, have struggled with this dream, but unlike you, have not seen the “big breaks” come my way. I feel sure of His call and try my best to trust His plan, but honestly feel frustrated most of the time.

    I need this reminder to press on in faith and love. Thank you.

  5. Tami Boesiger

    Sorry. Me again. Had another thought.

    I am reminded of a passage in Luke 5 where the soon-to-be disciples had been fishing all night without a catch and Jesus tells them to go out again. Simon’s response to Him speaks volumes to me.

    Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.

    This is how we move on in love and faith. We are tired. We may not get any encouragement to press on. It would be easier to give up, but because He says so we come back to the computer and try again. How can you tell God no?

  6. Anonymous

    Hi Jennifer, your book will be great and you have a lot of built in readers looking forward to it-so fear not. It will only get better not despite these challenges but because of them. In difficult times I remind myself that all God wills for me is my salvation. Every prayer is answered and the answer points only to my salvation which I don’t always see. Thank you

  7. reprehriestless warillever

    Go you!

    I have always been impressed by the amount of writing you *do* get done in this crazed season of your life.

  8. Lisa V

    LOL…sorry to laugh…I actually WAS thinking “hmmm why isn’t she using this time to work on her book?” before I saw your last comment. Well I just recently found your blog and it’s been a blessing. I’m struggling with putting my role as mom and wife first in my life. Even now I should be preparing to begin my day but I want “me” time. Sigh. Let me finally say I am in awe that with all your children and one on the way that you EVEN have time for this blog as easy as you say it is for you. I only have one 2 1/2 yr old boy and boy (no pun intended) is that a handful. I believe God has you firmly in His hands and don’t ya love His timetable?!!

  9. Kathy Grubb

    This is EXCELLENT! Trusting God is our first objective! I couldn’t have said it better myself. In fact, I’m cross posting this entry on my blog today.
    God sees you, Jen, he loves you, he knows what’s best. Besides, he might be training you for a book on life with little ones (3 in diapers???!!!)
    I don’t know how you have time to blog!

  10. Laura

    I can totally relate to this. We, too, felt that God was leading us very strongly down a certain path. We got excited, embraced it and then it disappeared. Did we imagine the “calling”? Finally I came to terms similar to what you stated. We’re headed down that path, just not right now. Sometime, in God’s time, He will reveal the right time. In the meantime, we feel He gave a glimpse of things to come. Thanks for a great post.
    God Bless!

  11. Anonymous

    Hi Jen,
    Continued prayers for the approaching
    delivery. Your book? It is gonna be even better than it would have been because just think how much wiser you are going to be after mothering FOUR kids.. AND think how many more spiritual lessons/insights you will be learning in the coming months.
    Think of the desert fathers and their ” sayings”: little bits and pieces of sentences pregnant with meaning inspired after years and years of isolation in the desert.
    So.. that book is gonna be written.
    and I ” can” wait to read it if you ” can” wait to write it. God less you and your family.

  12. tootie

    This post resonated so much with me. I’m a very goal-oriented person, and this year I made it my resolution just to be open to God’s plans for me. I had no idea how hard it would be!

    Thank you for writing and sharing this. It was just what I needed to hear!

  13. Anonymous

    Wonderful post! It took me a while to read it all because (as a new reader) I clicked on all the links to learn the background of everything.

    Here’s a business comment/question: I presume you’ve contacted your editor and agent to advise them that you’re not going to make the deadline and agree to a new (possibly more flexible) deadline.

    Missed and/or delayed deadlines are par for the course in publishing, of course, so they won’t be shocked, shocked, shocked but will appreciate (and need) a heads up.

    ~ Nona

  14. Wendy

    To Jane: being aware of one’s fertility can be complicated by health problems and other factors, it is not necessarily a reflection on their personal lives.

    Is NFP reliable? I would say yes based on my own experience. It is worth keeping in mind that I have a relative who conceived both her kids while on “the pill”, so I think God as wiggle room no matter what spacing system you are using. I think you hear about other method errors less because someone using contraception is more likely, in general, to see a pregnancy as a “failure” and therefore feels justified aborting since they “shouldn’t” have become pregnant.

  15. a square peg

    I’ve learned that God sometimes does send us signposts to give us confirmation to go down a certain path — as I believe he did with all those “coincidences” that led to big breaks with my writing last year — but they’re just that: signposts. They’re not maps. They tell us nothing more than to take a few more steps this direction, for now. I fell into the temptation to mix up my own desires for the final destination with the simple message to just keep stepping down this one path for this moment.

    The passage you wrote above describes exactly how I feel on my faith journey. I feel like I keep seeing signposts, which encourage me, but deep down what I really want is a MAP. I want to know the final destination; in fact, I want to navigate, and when I end up feeling lost, I get frustrated. It’s like God is tugging me in one direction, and part of me wants to go with God, but part of me wants to go my own way, and I’m trying to tug God along with me.

    I love how you are able to tie your book-writing journey into your faith journey. I look forward to reading your memoir someday.

  16. Lisa M.

    Great post.

    Because of my nature, I have a hard time seeing that when God wants me to do something, he doesn’t necessarily mean he wants me to do it *now*.

    It does seem very likely that you have a vocation to writing. Is there a particular reason to think that means writing a book? Aquinas wrote studies, Augustine confessions, Teresa of Avila instruction, Therese letters and thoughts, Merton essays. Even looking at Chesterton and Flannery O’Connor, books were almost a byproduct of their writing. Maybe the progress you’ve made so far is God’s kind way of telling you you could write a book if you wanted, but your real vocation is something more unexpected?

    Or maybe the baby will be an excellent sleeper and you’ll manage your two hours every morning after all!

  17. Tara Sz.

    Hi Jen,

    I’m not sure I understand Jane’s comment at the top, but please know – as you already do – NFP is the way to go. It sounds like maybe she doesn’t quite get Theology of the Body.

    And I have to say (selfishly, perhaps), I’m so relieved to see that blogging gives you peace and energy! I would be so sad if you left blogging to write your book, and not just this one…I check your favorite links almost every day. I have no doubt that the book WILL come at the LORD’s timing. Heck, just having the insight into trusting God with your dreams will already make it a better book when it comes. And so will having four kids under 5. My husband and I would be ok with that. 🙂

    God bless you, Jennifer F. Thanks for being such a great Wife and Mother and having the courage to blog about it, too.

  18. Hannah

    To A Square Peg:

    I know what you mean about wanting a map, rather than just signposts. When i first started looking for God, I sort of expected that either something would happen – pow! – and that would be it, or there’d be nothing and I’d get on with life. But of course, it isn’t that easy. When I read your post, I thought of Matthew 6:34 – “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself”. I guess that in any difficult endeavor, we just have to take things a day at a time. I’ve decided to do that in my own search for God, and already I’ve gotten to points where I can look back and realize how much I’ve achieved without being aware of it, simply by not worrying about whether I’m achieving anything. Not that I’ve worked out the answer to life, the universe and everything, but it’s helped in ways I can’t quite articulate, apart from a sense of relief and thankfulness.

    Best of luck with your own journey 🙂

  19. Abigail

    Such a beautiful post! Rub that little St. Francis of Rome baby bump for me. That little girl is teaching her mom a heck of a lot while still in the womb.

  20. nicole

    So it seems to me your memoir might include more than you originally thought. Or maybe this time in your life is material for another book, one for women who are new to the faith and new to surrendering their fertility to God and what it is like and how in the world will they survive?

    Thanks for your constant honesty.

  21. Elizabeth K.

    Jennifer, I love your blog. I only recently started reading it, and I look forward to it every day. I am also a Catholic: the born-a-Catholic-lapsed-in-college-then-returned-poorly-catechized-but-learning-everyday kind of Catholic.

    I share your dream, also, and I have never published a thing. This is mainly because I’ve never tried to publish a thing, because it’s always been far too daunting for me. I completely relate to what you said about it “just not happening” under your own steam. Now, I thank God that I did not become a published writer ten years ago–because I would probably be so embarrassed now by what I would have published.

    Your story made me think of other writers who have had the dream deferred, only to end up with near miraculous success: Jan Karon and Madeleine L’Engle. I think particularly of how hard it was for M.E. to get A Wrinkle in Time published; later, she wrote that she believed that God was waiting for just the right moment. And that book has been an enormous blessing to many people–I count myself as one of them. Maybe this new pregnancy is an important part of the story you need to tell in this book–who knows?

    Anyway, his post was a great reminder to me to stop, breathe, look at my blessings–and now to get off the computer and go take care of the little one!

  22. Kaycee


    I’ve never commented on your blog before, but I felt compelled this morning to tell you this.

    I am not yet a convert so I probably don’t have a grasp on what it means to decipher God’s will or determine my calling, but it seems to me that you are meant to write this book.

    I’ve been following your blog for almost a year now and I think that you need to know that you are very inspirational and your writing is a gift. Every time I open your blog, I read something that I can relate to, and I honestly don’t even know if I believe in God. I think that every woman, Christian or not, needs to hear what you have to say.

    Your conversion story has helped me more than I can put into words. I’ve become a better wife and mother because of it. Women are being fed a line of garbage these days about what it means to be ”modern” and enlightened”. It’s no wonder we’re raising girls with low self esteem and boys that take no responsibility for their actions. We need more voices like yours telling us not to sell ourselves short.

    It almost sounds as if you are waiting for God to make it easy for you to write this book and I’m not sure if that’s his job. (Please feel free to tell me that I don’t know what I’m talking about here.) From an outsider’s perspective it appears that you’ve been given the tools and connections to make it happen, but you’re waiting on the perfect time. There is never a “perfect time” for anything. Especially when you have children, you’ll wait forever.

    Anyways, I’m not sure if I am getting my point across. I just hope that you will find it in you to write that book.

  23. Tres Angelas

    Somehow I doubt that a person with a successful marriage, well-adjusted children, and a personal relationship with God is going to look back on her life years hence and think, “Ah, but if only I’d published my first book by age 31.”

  24. Becky H.

    I say this every time I leave a comment, but it becomes MORE true each time:

    Your insights are an invaluable source of encouragement, conviction, and enlightenment to me. You are pretty much my spiritual heroine, and God has greatly called you and blessed you to THIS vocation of being a guide to so many of us.

  25. Anonymous

    Jen, thank you for posting this. I am struggling through a big career decision at the moment and I really needed to read it and reread it.

    anon for this one

  26. beckygiggles

    I just know that when you do finish your book and get published, it’s going to be even better because you’re not losing yourself in your dream. God’s timing is always perfect, we just can’t see the big picture and your book will be even better because you’ve continued to put Him and the vocation He has given you first.

  27. The Koala Bear Writer

    Wow, I should like bookmark this post to come read when I lose sight of my own vocation. Thanks for the update and the honesty! I can understand your frustration at seeing your goal just out of reach. And that blogging is different than book writing. 🙂 When you do finally get that book finished, we’ll all be running to the bookstores to read it! 🙂 Blessings.

  28. Anonymous


    You ARE writing your book, and you have been writing your book. Your blog posts are a treasure of wonderful writing, and they will all come together in book form in God’s time.

    THANK YOU for blogging!

  29. Kathleen

    Have you considered inviting a friend or two to listen to your story while a tape recorder is running? The transcription would give you a head start on a first draft.k2

  30. Elizabeth

    To Jane @ What About Mom?: Since you admitted that you “just don’t get it,” you might want to dial back the presumptuous questions about Jennifer’s husband. ‘Cuz that was just rude.

    Jen: Yeah, book writing IS much different than blogging. Every time I write a chapter of my book, my head starts to hurt! Every time I blog, I feel energized.

    And sometimes, God’s blessings come when we least expect them. Never fear. He who promised is able to perform the work! Keep trusting Him, He will never “leave you nor forsake you.” 🙂


  31. SuburbanCorrespondent

    Good call! You’ll look back years from now and be so grateful that you welcomed this fourth child into your family. And I’m sure the book will happen, too, in its (or God’s) time.

    And I’m so glad to hear someone else admit that writing a blog post energizes her!

  32. Jennifer #2

    Jen, you’ve just described the EXACT process I’ve been going through with my dissertation and my writing career in general.

    And on your map/signpost analogy: the part of that passage I like is the “for now” part–I was thinking as I was doing, what else?, a load of laundry that if I were blogging right now I’d want to write about how God usually only speaks to me in terms of the present. He never seems to want to give me anything about the future. Just what to do now, in this moment, at this time.

    Sometimes, he sends great rage and frustration when he wants me to change things or set out in a different direction. But rarely do I know what destination that different direction is.

    I’m there right now.

    Pax Christi, sister.

  33. Marian

    I could relate so well to this. I know God has led me to do certain things… that can’t get done now as I think they should be. I just keep letting go, and letting go…

    “In the fullness of time.” Remember that scriptural phrase? God always does things in the fullness of time, when things are ripe, according to all he has set into motion and desires to accomplish. Fruit is never as good as when picked at the peak of its ripeness, and only God knows when that is for all of the dreams he has set within us. He is weaving a tapestry more complex and far-reaching than any our finite minds can imagine. HE knows when each thread and each color must be pulled across and left…

    I’ve learned that He is so often doing MORE in that “delay” time, both in us and elsewhere, to make the fruit ripe, and sweet, and perfect.

    (And ironically, THAT is one lesson I learned through a particular event in our adoption, and writing THAT particular story is something I KNOW I’ve been called to do and share… but I just can’t get to it with all that He has clearly put on my plate!)

    Wait on God. He is perfect! (Easier said than done– Amen?!)

  34. Anonymous

    Some commented that your blogs make a book – and I agree.

    Your most commented on blogs and favorite comments would make a great book.

    Someone else said maybe your growing family will be another book. I agree.

    When my children were over sixteen I looked at the four of them one night and thought, “Why didn’t I have more?” Nothing has been more worth the sacrifice. Except a marriage of 32 years – which is equally worth the sacrifice.

    God bless.

  35. Chloe

    Jennifer, thank you so much for posting this. It’s odd because literally I had this exact conversation with a friend of mine last night and again tonight. We are both struggling with God’s timetable, and trying to understand how to discern our “goals” from God’s way. Reading this post really gave me such insight. You are such an incredible and inspiring writer. Don’t ever stop!

    Congratulations on your fast-arriving new little one!

  36. Mary

    Thank you once again for your honesty. I can relate very mush to your desire to follow a dream you feel God has placed on your heart. Continue to trust in Him and He will continue to walk with you.
    I look forward to the publication of your book. It will be phenomenal. Until then, keep writing, raise your children and love your husband. God will take care of the rest.

  37. Stretch Mark Mama

    I totally get that blog writing and book writing are in two totally separate categories. And book writing always feels like work to me. Hard work, good work, but WORK nonetheless.

    I too have Big Struggles with the whole mothering goals vs. everything else goals. Oh, sister! I am so goal oriented! And the work of a mother is not very geared towards results.

    S I G H.

    Feelin’ the pain.

  38. Karen E.

    You are absolutely, positively correct that if God wants a book from you, He’ll get one. 🙂

    My writing was just “taking off” when I found out I was pregnant with “Ramona.” I set a number of things aside for awhile, because she didn’t sleep through the night until she was three. Or four. I’m still unclear on that because I was the walking dead for awhile. But, God kept leading me through the dark. I’m still following His gorgeous light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there.

  39. Jane @ What About Mom?

    I realized that I was quite presumptuous and sexist in my comment — to assume that it would be the man in a relationship initiating or demanding sex.

    And the commenter who mentioned Theology of the Body is right — I’ve never even heard that term. (I’m a Christian, but not a Catholic).

    I am fascinated by how you say that coming to understand sexuality in God’s way is what changed your worldview the most. I like how it informs your thoughts on modesty, abortion, career choices, etc.

    But I still don’t understand, and maybe this is just me living in an (apparently) less-sexed marriage. And maybe this is just too personal of a question, but when pregnancies are so physically risky to you, and when the toll of having so many kids so close together is so overwhelming (no matter how much of a blessing they are!), I wonder if you feel called to have sex with a certain regularity?

    My question is — Does NFP mean you HAVE to have sex every month, and if you just happen to time it “less than optimally”, then oops, you’re pregnant again?

    Would God be mad if you didn’t have sex for a couple months at all? Would God see a husband and wife abstaining from intercourse as the same thing as them practicing contraceptives?

  40. Jennifer @ Conversion Diary

    Jane @ What About Mom –

    My question is — Does NFP mean you HAVE to have sex every month, and if you just happen to time it “less than optimally”, then oops, you’re pregnant again?

    No. You’re absolutely right that abstinence is always an option. Certainly one that any couple learning NFP is very familiar with. 🙂 If you’d like to hear the details of what happened with our two surprises I’d be more than happy to share, but I’d rather discuss via email than here in the combox. Feel free to shoot me an email. 🙂

  41. ck

    Please give your book a wonderful enticing title. Millions read “The Postman Always Rings Twice” just because the title was so intriguing.

    And think of unique cover art for it. I’m still convinced that “Pray Eat Love”, “A Million Little Pieces”, and “Ya-Ya Sisterhood” owe part of their success to impulse shoppers who judged a book by its cover.

  42. Arkanabar T'verrick Ilarsadin

    You’re not alone in finding that writing a book and writing a blog are very different activities. The Waiter, over at, has written several times on this same topic. NB that he’s not careful about language.

  43. Tres Angelas

    …But when you DO publish the book — when you’re good and ready — I already know that I’m going to buy numerous copies for friends and relatives. Will Conversion Diary readers be able to order signed copies direct from the author? Something to think about…

    Buena suerte.

  44. Amy Jane (Untangling Tales)

    I agree about the book- and blog-writing being different.

    Blogging is like being the hostess or guest of honor at a party (maybe just my kind of a party…): everyone is already connected to you somehow, you have some measure of status and feedback.

    Whatever you say (write) has the general context and cushion of relationship to get you to the next post/conversation, so flubs are less-threatening.

    Writing a book, on the other hand, is like giving a speech. It is for the conveyance of information, must be able to stand on its own, and will be read by disinterested (in you the writer) people as well as those who love you and those who’d delight in ribbing a hole in your idea-baby.

    The book, somehow, just feels like higher stakes.

    But I appreciate how you put the “hardness” in the context of asking whether this is still the call God gave, and the observation, “If I truly believe that writing this book is in God’s plan for me, what else do I really need to know?”

    I constantly struggle with the reality that the writing (fantasy?!) I feel called to is so far from “spiritual,” so I have to constantly circle back around to the reality that every calling is sacred, and I shouldn’t judge what God has called pure.

    (I used to thing that only applied to how I saw other people…)

  45. Benedicamus

    re: Jane’s comment- geez, maybe it was in jest, but if someone said that about my husband and our relationship… I just don’t think it was charitable at all.
    And no, it isn’t always easy to interpret your body’s fertility signs, especially when breastfeeding.
    Even with NFP, in the end, as with all things, it is not “my will be done.”

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