Guilty confession: I totally cheated on our Christmas card picture this year. I Photoshopped the baby’s head. I tried to keep it real and be satisfied with an imperfect yet realistic picture, I did, but between the series of shots where the toddlers were screaming and hitting each other and the series where at least one of my children managed to have a finger in his or her nose at all times, only this one shot was semi-normal. Except for the fact that the baby was crying and looked like a sullen troll with her head turned away from the camera. So I took another shot where she looked good (and my husband had his eyes closed while my mouth was frozen on some syllable of “I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU TO THE COUNT OF THREE TO SIT DOWN AND SMILE!”), and I took that baby head and put it on the picture that was good of the rest of us. Total cheat, I know.
I have another Christmas-card-related dilemma: A couple years ago we sent a card to some acquaintances in San Antonio, and it turned out that they’d long since moved from that address. But the current resident, an elderly lady, just loved our Christmas card. We received a long note written in shaky handwriting talking about how lonely she’s been since her husband passed away earlier in the year, and how much she enjoyed reading our family newsletter. We kept that address on the list, and we got another similar note last year.
I’m planning on sending her another card this year, but the problem is that I don’t know her name — her return address only showed her street and city. Last year I just used our friends’ names, hoping she’d think that it was an oversight, but that’s kind of getting old now. Do I address it to “Current Resident”? “Our Friend at 123 Main St.”? (I’m telling you, when you’re the #1 Google result for socially awkward person, these situations just find you.)
Speaking of social awkwardness, I keep meaning to clarify something I said about Christmas caroling in take #5 here last year: it’s not you, it’s me. I felt so bad when some people who enjoy Christmas caroling commented that it bums them out to hear that some people don’t like carolers. Let me clarify that it’s not that I don’t like carolers, it’s that I fear them.
Wait, no, that sounds bad. Let me try again: the whole situation just seems so rife with opportunities for me to do something horribly offensive / awkward / embarrassing that it makes me nervous to think of a group of people showing up at my door and singing. But I actually really like the concept, and think it’s a wonderful way to build community and spread an atmosphere of joy. And, honestly, people like me need to get over ourselves and enjoy the Christmas cheer. If I knew someone like me I’d arrange to have carolers at their door every night.
I saw the best bumper sticker the other day:
Did you hear that Mary Karr, author of The Liars’ Club, converted to Catholicism? Here’s an interview where she talked about it. In this interview with the Huffington Post (warning: bountiful profanity) she gave the analogy of talking about her conversion to a secular audience being like doing card tricks on the radio. So true.
I put my label maker to good use regarding the whole “ruined winter wardrobe” thing:
I don’t know how you northern moms do it. Winter is about to be the death of me; not the cold itself, but the getting the kids ready to go outside in the cold. For about nine months out of the year around here I can throw some shirts, shorts and sandals on the kids and we’re ready to go. Now each one of us needs coats, hats and socks (that’s 24 ADDITIONAL ACCESSORIES for our family of six). And the socks. Oh, the socks. It’s as if the entire concept is designed to test the limits of my sanity. The One-Sock-Sucking Black Hole is in full force in our house, and the quantity of socks that I buy seems to have no relation whatsoever to the quantity of socks available for wear. Anyway, other than that I’m loving the cooler weather.
Have a nice weekend, everyone!
I look forward to reading your posts!
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