If I have to have a scorpion in my toilet, I should at least get a blog post out of it

May 31, 2010 | 77 comments

I don’t have much to say about this:

Oh, wait. No, I do. Until I saw the picture to refresh my memory, I had forgotten that my charism is freaking out about scorpions.

[Before I get started, let me apologize to any new readers who may have mistakenly thought this was a classy blog and were not prepared to see a close-up picture of a toilet and a scorpion when they checked for new posts at Conversion Diary today.]

So anyway, I was walking by the hallway bathroom yesterday morning and noticed some object in the bottom of the toilet. In this house it could have been any number of things, none of them good, so I was relatively prepared that my findings were not going to improve my day. I was not, however, prepared for it to be a scorpion.

My first thought was to reflect that Yaya, for whom potty training is a second religion, so effectively whipped everyone into shape around here that even our scorpions use the potty now.

The joking ended abruptly, though, when I realized: it got in there by itself. My husband was out with the kids, and it hadn’t been in there when they left. The most likely route would be that it crawled under the space between the bottom toilet seat and the bowl, i.e. WHERE NO ONE COULD SEE IT. Which means…well, lest I cause Feedburner’s servers to melt down from mass use of the “unsubscribe” button, let me just leave it at this: I was prepared that our family might have to deal with stings on our feet from scorpions hiding in shoes, or on our torsos, backs, arms, legs or faces from scorpions in the bed at night. But there was one thing I had not considered. And the possibility of it is now seared into my brain forever.

That night we went to dinner with my dad and grandfather, and I knew that this wasn’t going to be an impromptu support group. I’ve mentioned before my Texan relatives and I just cannot seem to get on the same page about scorpions. As I said in this post, when I would shriek about the very real possibility of being stung in bed while sleeping, my relatives would think that the problem was simply that I couldn’t figure out what to do in case of a nocturnal scorpion attack (“you just brush them off”) or that I was concerned only about the toxicity level of the sting (“it’s not like they’re rattlesnakes…though I did see one the other day…”) But they did try.

When I recounted the story to my dad, he nodded like I was telling him that I went to the store to get some milk. Then he remembered that I had that hang-up abut scorpions, and dutifully put a very kind and sympathetic look on his face. You could just see his mind in overdrive to think through all the angles to try to figure out what bothered me about this. You could tell he wanted to comfort me with some fatherly advice. So finally he offered: “They’re no worse than tarantula bites.”

I just kind of stared at him, wondering if there’s an official repository of Most Epic Encouragement Fails to which I could submit that statement.

He tried again: “Remember that time I woke up to that scorpion stinging me on the knee? “

“Yeah…” I said, eagerly waiting to hear the part about how it didn’t hurt or the sting ended up giving him superpowers or something.

“I didn’t die, ” he said. Sensing that that might not have caused my quirky phobia to instantly dissipate once and for all, he tried another angle: “Plus, it’s not like that time Uncle Benton had one fall off the ceiling and sting him on the face while he was sleeping, ” he added, pointing to the bedroom about five yards away from where I was sitting, where my uncle had been staying when he was stung. “His eye sure did swell up!”

And to think, if I had been in my dad’s situation of waking to a scorpion attacking my knee, I might have thought my glass was half empty! It was nice to have that little helping of Chicken Soup for the Texan Soul to inspire me for the rest of the evening, especially as I was falling asleep.

I mentioned it on Twitter, of course. This is one of those times that people who follow me on Twitter get a payoff for all the inane and boring tweets they put up with. It’ll be weeks of “I’m tired, ” and “I stayed up too late, ” and “Why do I stay up so late?”, and then, boom! “SCORPION IN MY TOILET!!!!!!”

Luckily the Twitterati had my back, and I got some advice for how to handle this all with prayer and grace. The guys at Creative Minority Report were able to offer me encouragement from a Catholic perspective:

And Scoutsigns weighed in with some practical suggestions:

Scoutsigns pointed out in another tweet that it was probably still alive — scorpions have been known to live for more than a day under water. OF COURSE IT WAS STILL ALIVE. I have no idea why I thought a mere few hours submerged under water would mean it was dead. Since I keep having to learn this lesson over and over again, I guess I need to make a flowchart to put on the living room wall to review in case of a scorpion sighting:

Anyway, I hope you’re all enjoying your Memorial Day. If you’re not, you can always remember that at least you didn’t just find a scorpion in your toilet.


  1. Jaimie

    Scorpions look more like small mammals to me (weird, I know), so I find them less horrifying than overt insects like spiders or dust mites.

    OMG, never google image search dust mites. Don't do it. Don't ever do it. Promise me. I warned you.

  2. Jaimie

    I just read up on your older posts… I've lived in Texas my entire life, 23 years, and have never seen a scorpion in our house.

    (I HAVE seen them in my grandma's house in Georgia, though.)

    I guess we have a good exterminator? Or maybe it's something to do with the humidity, since Houston has quite a different summer than San Antonio, Dallas or Austin.

    We just deal with huge roaches, spiders, wasps and ants.

  3. Lauren

    oh my. Once again I am laughing so hard that tears are forming. I couldn't sleep (a very rare occurance) so wantedered onto the blogosphere. When I saw you had posted about scorpians, I was able to THANK GOD for my insomnia so I could crack up about this for hours to come!

    The flow-chart takes the cake. Awesome.

  4. Kingdom Mama

    Ummm, your toilet is making me sad…or guilty. I'm pretty sure mine doesn't look that clean at the moment;)

  5. Cathleen

    Your flow chart quite literally made me do a spit take with my morning coffee! Since I've become a blogger, there's almost always a silver lining to every insane thing that happens in my life – I can Blog it!

    Having said that – I do have empathy for you. I grew up in the Mohave desert in California for a time and we had rattlesnakes. One day when I was about 7, a granddaddy rattler came to hang out on our sun porch. We called the fire department, who came out and dispatched of the snake expeditiously, but they flushed it down the toilet! I'm 40 years old now, and I can NEVER use the toilet without thinking of that snake. Gives me the heebie jeebies!

  6. Sue

    I read this out loud to my kids, and we were all laughing our heads off.


    We really can understand, though, because we live in nasty, huge, dive-bombing roach land. My children know what it's like to live with a woman who gets a little psychotic over yucky creepy crawly things – and ours don't even sting!

  7. NC Sue

    I don't think we have scorpions in North Carolina (or if we do, I clearly do NOT want to know about it), but I have a similar aversion to centipedes. Just the idea of having one in my bed or lurking in the toilet is enough to put me into a bona fide panic.

    But I'll concede that it's probably better than a scorpion.

  8. Barb

    As a mom of little ones who has found things in the toilet, or heard about things being dropped in the toilet, and other surprises that show up when one is potty training little ones, I feel your pain.

    I would have nightmares about scorpions lurking under the toilet, and frankly, I don't want to add check for scorpions to my list of things to check before sitting on the potty such as is there poop, do you see anything wet?, and did they remember to put the seat down?

  9. Em the luddite

    Here, let me try:

    When I was a little girl, I had a scorpion sting my leg in my bed at night. I was a little girl, and it didn't hurt that bad. I'd actually take a scorpion sting over a fire ant bite any day (though I'd obvious prefer neither). But… not too traumatic. Even for a kid.

    How's that?

  10. Jamie

    What I am most impressed about is "LOOK HOW FRIGGIN CLEAN YOUR TOILET IS!!" 🙂

  11. WheelbarrowRider

    this is horrifying and hilarious at the same time. The family advice, oh my, less than helpful! lol. Love the flow chart!

  12. Elisa

    LOL. Because it didn't happen to me. I freak out at spiders and kill them. Not sure how you'd kill a scorpion. I'd probably spray it w/ some poison…and then set it on fire just to be sure it was really dead. (Are Catholis allowed to do that?) I'd have to make sure it was dead somehow, because there is no way I could ever sleep in a house w/ a possible live scorpion in it. I was under the false impression that there aren't any scorpions in TX, but now that you've found one, I showed my 4 year old just so he knows to STAY AWAY from nasty looking things like that.

  13. Nadja Magdalena

    Jennifer, I know that you are writing a serious book on your conversion…but I have to admit, I love it when you write about your scorpion-induced freak-outs. I dealt with them in Tucson, AZ when I lived there, and I agree that they are among the things I would least like to see in my home, along with rattlesnakes and black widows.

    Kudos to you for having a clean toilet for your photo shoot!

  14. Kristen

    I also live in Texas and have yet to see a native scorpion in our house (knock on wood).

    The only scorpion encounter we've had was five years ago when my oldest son was three. We had just arrived home from Costa Rica and were unpacking our luggage when I found my son in the kitchen stooped over examining a GIGANTIC Costa Rican scorpion who had hitched a ride in our luggage. We flushed it down the toilet. I mentioned the story to several people and one of them said "yeah, people DIE from Costa Rican scorpion stings, they're the most deadly kind".

    We are leaving for Costa Rica tomorrow and now I have three boys who are eagerly anticipating another scorpion encounter. Does anyone know a saint I can pray to protect my children from venomous insects? I have already been chatting with their guardian angels about this…

  15. M.E.

    Couldn't comment until I wiped the coffee off my keyboard. Oh my gosh, funniest post EVAH. Maybe the funniest post on teh interwebs.

    Thank you for starting my day off with a laugh. And now I will get on my knees and thank God that there are no scorpions in Wisconsin. Just their cousins, centipedes, which I hate with a mighty hatred.

  16. Katie

    Well that's unsettling.

  17. mary

    Your toilet looks very clean, by the way — impressive!! 🙂

  18. Barbara C.

    Your blog is as educational as ever:

    Scorpions are like zombies. Always do the double kill.

    Got it! 😉

  19. Anne Marie


  20. Stevie

    I'm with Jaimie – lived in Texas my whole life and the only place I've ever seen a scorpion is at the Dallas Museum of Nature and Science. I would be freaking out too!! I seriously think I would move!

  21. anna

    I think that's the last time I use the bathroom in the middle of the night without bothering to turn on the light.

  22. Suburban Correspondent

    I never, ever use the toilet in the dark around here, due to our various disgusting insect infestations. And I never slip on shoes without first shaking them out.

    But scorpions? I cannot imagine how you sleep without being enshrouded in mosquito netting. There is just no way I could turn out the light, let alone close my eyes.

  23. Susan

    Jen, Here are a couple of positive uses for this situation.
    1. Finally get Yaya on your side about scorpions by explaining to her the seriously negative impact seeing one in or around the toilet (or worse yet, not seeing one) could have on the kids potty training experience.
    2. Rest in the sublime knowledge that your toilet was SO CLEAN when this happened that you could post a picture of it online.

  24. Jules at FCTS

    I will echo the other comments. First, that's horrible! Second, the toilet is very clean!

    Seriously though, that's crazy!

  25. Dawn Farias

    I'm so glad you got a blog post out of this because I really enjoyed reading it!

    …my charism is freaking out about scorpions.


  26. Chris Davis

    Your scorpion pic brings back memories of when we lived in Alma, AR. It seemed like they were everywhere — found a live one in bed once, under the covers — I think my guardian angel was doing double duty then! My kitty got quite proficient in hunting and killing them.(Silly kitty tells me that he's officially retired now that we're in NC — refuses to even look at a spider!)

    I am impressed with the clean toilet though and am glad no one got stung 🙂

  27. Robyn B. @Leave the Lights On

    I tweeted this to you, but since you blogged about it, I'll drop encouragement in a comment too.

    Although I think you'll find this "encouragement" sort of like the kind your family gives you. Maybe you'll be even more disturbed to learn that you believe in a God who created eurypterids.

    Eurypterids, aka Sea Scorpions. They were the top predators of the sea long before the day of the dinosaurs, and some species got up to 7 or 8 feet long. This guy was a bit smaller, but definitely not something you'd like to see in the toilet.

    So look on the bright side: If sea scorpions hadn't gone extinct, there might today be a whole species of toilet-going scorpions lurking in the sewers, biding their time until they popped up through the commode to attack the nether regions of unsuspecting Texans!

  28. Rea

    All I have to add is that when I went to share this on my Facebook page the verification words were the wildly inappropriate 'petting it'. Um, no thanks, don't think I want to.

  29. Mary @ tinyprayers

    I was impressed with how clean your toilet was. An impromptu photo of the inside of our pot would leave me blushing. Then I read on Twitter that it looks that good thanks to photoshop. Which is what keeps me coming back to your blog. Your realness gives me great comfort as a mother of little ones.

  30. Megan@SortaCrunchy

    That is the BEST flow chart I have seen all day.

  31. gg

    Sorry, I just can't help but laugh. I think we live less than 20 miles from you but we have never seen one in our house. My husband and I both agree though, we would take them any day over cockroaches.

  32. Marian

    Go, Yaya! She needs to write a book on pest potty training! (This was hilarious to read. Sorry it was at the expense of your nerves.)

  33. Ouiz

    Seriously, I think I'd have to move. I would NEVER be able to go to sleep after the "Uncle who had one fall on his face" story.

    Uh uh. No way.

    We have roaches and I hate them with a holy passion. They make my skin crawl and I have a hard time keeping it together when I have to deal with one. But scorpions? Sorry. I'm outta here.

  34. Anonymous

    Oh Jen,
    I just sent a link to your blog last week to a young woman who is receiving instruction and will be converting soon. I told her if she wanted to enjoy a hearty laugh to check out your scorpion stories. Thank you for not disappointing us!

  35. Paula

    I had a snake in my house last year. I'll take a snake any day over that creepy thing. Thank you God for not putting scorpions in Nebraska.

    p.s. I couldn't even blog about my snake. My mom reads my blog, and if she finds out we've had a snake in the house, she'll never visit us again. You aren't the only one with irrational fears! 🙂

    • al

      old post, i know. but we do have scorpions in Nebraska fyi. mostly out west.

  36. Eliz

    So, did you flush it??

  37. Roxane B. Salonen

    Jen, this is a keeper of a post. It is so worth what you went through in panic time. I love how you took a screen shot (I assume) of your Tweet responses. Nice touch. And the flow chart — you are so skilled, how did you do that? Finally, I just have to say…your toilet is very clean! Wow. That was the first thing I noticed after gawking at the scorpion itself. (You can about imagine what ours look like. No scorpions here in North Dakota, but if there were, I would not be taking photos of our toilet bowls! :)The scorpions would have nothing on that visual.)

  38. Sara

    Ohmygoodness. I can hardly catch my breath for laughing so hard! The tears are rolling down my cheeks and my son doesn't understand.

    Thanks for the morning laugh.

  39. Amity

    Well, if it's any consolation, I just failed to remove a tick from my thigh and am walking around with a cotton ball soaked with hydrogen peroxide hed over the still-visible but firmly embedded mouth parts, silently repeating "do not fret – nothing but evil can come from it" and periodically starting to hyperventilate anyway. It is so CREEPY.

  40. Rachel Gray

    Jen, I don't even know how to confess this, but it seems to me that if you ever did get stung, your post for that occasion might be so epic, or so hilarious, or so deranged, that… well… all I'm saying is, if the awful event that NO ONE WANTS were to actually happen, I'd sure as heck want to read about it. That's all.

    Oh, this was my favorite part: "But there was one thing I had not considered. And the possibility of it is now seared into my brain forever."

  41. mrsdarwin

    Scorpion in toilet = wrong, wrong, WRONG. WRONG.

    Darwin's father had a story about a snake in the USC plumbing, back in his college days…

  42. Anonymous

    OK, this is so totally not related to anything about scorpions….. And, this is not an advert. I do comment regularly on Jen's blog posts. But, if you want to get your toilet looking really clean without scrubbing Home Depot sells Zep products which are amazing. Just get their Zep Toilet Bowl Cleaner & Deodorizer – Professional Strength. I can't believe how clean mine looks now.

    Sorry, when I find a good product I like to let people know about it!

    Jen G

  43. Anonymous

    Hi Jen.

    You're so funny.

    I live in New Braunfels and we had a scorpion on the wall next to our bed last night. I'd rather have a scorpion in the toilet than in the bedroom. (And, maybe if I kept my toilet as clean as yours, they'd be happier in the bathroom.)

    I don't think they can climb up and/or out of a toilet. If it makes you feel any better, I suspect the scorpion dropped off the ceiling into the toilet. (I'm guessing that won't make you feel better.)

    Thanks for always improving my day. I LOVE your blog.


  44. Susan C.

    On my Memorial Day I pulled a tick out of my younger daughter's leg and administered pain killers to the elder one, who has an infected insect bite in a place she wouldn't thank me for mentioning. I have a grossly swollen eyelid from a mosquito bite, and I'm still fighting a flea infestation in the house. But you know, I was able to go to bed thinking, "At least I didn't have a scorpion in my toilet"!

  45. MacBeth Derham

    Looks like the Scorpion Cleaning System for toilets works quite well.

  46. Jamie

    But look at the bright side. Your toilet was sparkling clean!

  47. Sr Anne

    How do you keep your toilet so clean????!!!

  48. Carol

    OH EM GEE! What was I thinking when I thought I could possibly move to Texas, anywhere in the Southwest, or Mexico to (yes, save my children from left coast.) This fraidy little city girl can hardly handle a spider.

  49. Abbey

    The very idea of having a "plan" for "in case" of scorpions would lead me to find a new house pronto! The photo is, however, quite humorous, as it your story. But, I must take exception to the part about "Texans". I was raised in Texas, and am planning to return there in a year or so. I love the great State of Texas (don't throw W. under the bus, please!) – and I was thinking that I could just see your dad making that response to you.

    Just let that scorpion sting him next time and hope you are there to see the "dance" as a result!


  50. Anonymous

    On the side of "blessings out of tragedy", you made my whole morning with this wonderfully funny post. Your writing style is delightful.

    I grew up near Houston, Texas – no scorpions but so many other critters that fall under my "why in heaven did God create THIS????" category. My first thought was, "This is another thing I love about living in Alaska." You actually have to go out into the wilderness to have bears and moose painfully wake you up at night. And they don't hide in your shoes.

    Another blessing: surely enduring such horror (no joking – scorpions freak me out, I mean FREAK OUT I MIGHT HURT MY KIDS TO GET AWAY FROM ONE) must be reducing your time in purgatory? Suffering purification on earth vs. after death.


  51. Peter and Nancy

    Oh Jen . . . you always make me glad to live in Wisconsin, where it gets cold enough that things like that can't live here!

  52. Jenny

    Yikes, that would have freaked me out too! Did you flush it? Will it die or can it swim back? ICK!

  53. Byron Bay Accommodation

    A very funny post and fine writing – thank you 🙂 It has inspired me to write about the next unusual creature I see 🙂

  54. Shannon

    Are you kiddin' me? Girl, it's time to move. 😉

  55. Sarah Oldham

    This post had me a-laughing' out loud! Thank you so much for the chuckles! Ahem. I mean, I am terribly sorry that you have these awful creepy critters crawling, climbing and whatever else creepy they do . . . in your house. YUCK. I'm with the CMR men: burn the house down and run for a state where those things aren't.

    Apparently they are in HI. Someone said as much the other day and I freaked out a little bit. Please, God, not in my house.

  56. Malia

    Jen, I was thinking about your little episode while I was cooking dinner last night, and at the thought of you "walking past the loo", this little ditty came to mind. Sing it to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies":

    Come and listen to a story about a girl named Jen
    A strong Texas lass, stood more than five-feet ten,
    But then one day she was walkin’ past the loo,
    And saw something there, some strange lookin’ poo.

    Scorpion, that is
    Black and gold
    Stop and scream.

    Well the first thing you know ol Jen’s pullin’ her hair,
    She yells, “Hey, Yaya! Did you put that thing in there??”
    She says, “Down the sewer is the place it’s gonna be,
    But first I’ll take a picture for posterity!”

    Blog, that is
    Toilet clean.

    Well now it’s time to say goodbye to Jen’s arachnid friends.
    They just like to freak her out so they keep droppin’ in.
    But we’re all invited back again to Jen’s locality,
    To have a heapin’ helpin’ of her blog hilarity!

    Scorpions, that is. Set a spell. Take your shoes off.
    (But ya’ll think twice about that, y’hear?)

  57. Rachel Gray

    Malia, that song is genius. 🙂

  58. Jennifer @ Conversion Diary

    Thank you all for your awesome comments. And I just had to say: Malia, I was laughing out loud when I read your song. Genius.

  59. Tari

    I know the minute I type this I will find a scorpion on my pillow, or somewhere equally horrifying, but in 18 years of living in Texas (3 in Austin, 15 in Houston) I have never, ever seen a scorpion.

    Maybe it's because I don't wear my glasses in the house?

  60. Angela

    Two words: Orkin Man.

  61. mrsdarwin

    You should put this flowchart on Graphjam.com .

  62. Lindsey

    No scorpions thus far (Houston) but I think that's because it's so wet around here.

    We did peek inside the hollow handle of a large cooler that was in our garage and see a suspicious inhabitant…I made my husband get a stick and poke it out, and sure enough a black widow crawled out the other end. I'm very glad she was smashed and didn't go for a ride with us in the van, right inside the handle that all of us would likely be grabbing in the loading and unloading of our picnic!!

  63. Jess

    My childhood best friend just moved to Texas, Plano to be exact. I'll be sure to forward this lovely blog post to her. I'm sure she has no idea what awaits for her in her new apartment. We VA girls are really only concerned about copperheads and Brown Recluse spiders.

    I would move if I were you. Seriously. I think we should all relocate to Ireland, snake and scorpion free paradise that it is.

  64. JoAnna

    I feel your pain. We live in AZ, and my husband found a scorpion in our bathtub a few months ago. I was freaked our because we had a newborn baby and my elderly grandmother in our house (plus our other two kids) both of whom are at risk for severe complications from scorpion stings. A few weeks later he found a wolf spider, and a few weeks after that we found our cat chasing a mouse in our bedroom. Ugh!!!! If we see any snakes I'm checking into the nearest Holiday Inn until the whole house is fumigated.

    (Out of curiousity, are you a Scorpio?)

  65. NancyinAbq

    Oh, my gosh. You are so funny. I share your intense dislike for such of God's creatures. I'm in Albuquerque and a couple months ago I awakened to itching and then found a very long centipede nipping his way to my neck. I of course screamed and jumped out of that bed like a jack-in-the-box. But then you should have seen me chase that sucker around the bedroom with a can of Raid. I think ultimately I drowned him in a pool of Raid.

    PS. I had a large red swelling on my shoulder for a week.

  66. Melissa

    Scorpions in Austin? don't see them too frequently … My worst nightmare? flying roaches inside on the other hand … terror with wings. If I see one that's when all h*$# breaks loose! Thank God have only had a couple of experiences (a couple too many) with those. Whatever is happening prior to the sighting comes to an immediate halt and all out war with every means available must be waged (did i say immediately?) with no prisoners to be taken!!

  67. Dianna@KennedyAdventures

    @malia — you've missed your calling as a songwriter!

    Jen — I don't know how we didn't hear your scream all the way to Kentucky ….

  68. Anonymous

    This reminds me disturbingly of the time I found a sunspider in the shower. At least 5 inches in diameter. Back in those days in Arizona you could buy an extremely lethal juice called Boothill that we normally used to kill black widows from a distance. I got the bottle and spent about 10 minutes squirting my friend while he ran around inside the bathtub. He finally shriveled up, dead… I thought. Got a shovel and dumped him into the toilet… and he started swimming……

  69. Lara

    I just saw the 12/17/10 Quick Takes – specifically the 120 sq ft home with an incinerator toilet – That’s. What. You. Need! Then it would be FUN to find your little friend in the toilet, heh! You could probably redo the flow chart, too.

  70. Virginia

    I am so glad I came across your blog. My family just moved into a new (to us) home which is 16 yrs old in Chandler Az. And, it has scorpoins! I have lived in Arizona for 60 yrs and have NEVER seen a scorpoin in or around any of the homes I ever lived in. I am surprised as to how TRAMTIZED I am by these visious creatures. I too am Catholic, and in addition to praying at Mass today, I spent my hour of Adoration today in prayer asking God to drive all the scorpions out of my home and my life. My husband and I raised four children, and our grandaughter, who is now 19 but still living at home while she attends college, and she is totally blind, losing both eyes to cancer when she was two. So imagine my FEAR not only for me of these scorpions, but more improtantly for her, as she can’t even see them or know when one is around.. Love, love, love your blog. Virginia

  71. Steve

    I was once stung by a scorpion on the back of my arm. It made my tongue numb and the site felt like a wasp sting. Scoutsigns said scorpions have been known to live more than a day under water. This is probably true, but they can’t live more than a 10 to twenty seconds in the microwave. Maybe longer if you turn it on 1 and two seconds at a time. I did not add them up. That was a long time ago.
    My wife recently found a scorpion by our back door. She wanted me to flush it alive. I insisted on killing it first. I know how resiliant they are and I get the heebie jeebies enough from using my grandmothers outhouse as a kid. We have 20 month old twins and my fear is more for them than me. Although every now and then I will get an impluse to lift the lid before a sit down event.
    Good luck with your sanity with the creepy crawlies. I take it as it comes and try not to live in fear.

  72. Rachel

    I am glad I cam across your article. I, too just recently saw a scorpion in our toilets (yes, both toilets). It was a small one both times and each one was hanging out above the water line midway between the water & the rim. I was horrified to see this. I thought that was at least ONE safe place?! But, NOPE that was shattered for me. We just recently moved to the hill country from San Antonio city limits. I stopped counting when I counted at least 50 scorpions I have seen/killed in my house total in a matter of just a couple months. I am not so sure I’m cut out for this way o living. My 3 yr old daughter stepped on one last night & got stung. I was more horrified than she was. Thankfully it was a big one (apparently the bigger the less venom they inject, making it less painful from what I hear?). Either way it creeps the daylights outta me. I don’t like having to check my bed every night and shake out my clothes. I don’t like the idea that one may be in my daughter’s bed or my son’s crib or that a scorpion could fall on any of us at any time. Which actually has already happened to me in my garage- iiickk! I am glad someone else out there is just as terrified about it as I am. My husband does not seem to be bothered about them (til last night and only slightly then). Then there’s the giant centipedes, and I haven’t even seen tarantulas…yet! Haven’t seen a snake yet either but I have a feeling it’s inevitable. Not sure my heart is ready for that yet! 🙁

  73. Randy

    I live in the Texas hill country, they are everywhere. San Antonio has their fair share too. Just tried to kill one in my master bathroom … he got away. Now I have to worry about possibly stepping on a scorpion in the dark . Going to bed now, ouch!

  74. Emliy Hurt

    I love your phrase: “Most Epic Encouragement Fails”…you should start the official repository. I’ll contribute to it. 😉

  75. Anna

    Help! I just found a scorpion in MY toilet! Well, my 2 year old found it :0 I doubt he will ever sit on that toilet again…wondering if I will. Anyway, this one was on top of the water, like it either fell from the ceiling or (shutters) off my son’s pj’s when he climbed onto the pot. I did a black light sweep of the outside and inside and all of the vents and beds and found no other signs. I sprayed scorpion killer in the toilet, around the toilet, and around the front door. Ugh! It’s JANUARY! Don’t these things ever hibernate?!?! Found your blog trying to figure out how it got in there… I will say that I’m less afraid of burglars now- replaced by a ridiculously paranoid fear of scorpions. Thanks for letting me know they will drop on my face while I sleep. It’s inevitable (scans ceiling for vents over bed). My punishment for wonderful weather while everyone else endures the polar vortex.


  1. off the shelf: oldies but goodies - [...] Conversion Dairy: If I have to have a scorpion in my toilet, I should at least get a blog…
  2. 7 Quick Takes Friday (vol. 195) : Conversion Diary - [...] we got on top of this, and says that it’ll be a cinch to get this taken care of.…
  3. If you want to whine about your alligator problem, don’t come to me : Conversion Diary - [...] If you want to know true terror, try opening your toilet lid to find this little surprise (then immediately…

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