— 1 —
Today I’m hopping on a plane to head over to Alabama to visit my good friend Hallie Lord. It’s a very quick trip for the baptism of their new baby (to whom my husband and I are honored to be godparents), but it’ll be great to catch up in person.
— 2 —
A new scorpion story for those of you who weren’t on Twitter at 8:10 CDT Wednesday night: So I was walking by the bathroom and my three-year-old daughter called out to me. She was pointing at the tub with a sort of concerned but resigned look on her face, saying, “There’s a…umm…ummm…” Even though I couldn’t see into the tub, I knew it was a scorpion. OF COURSE it was a scorpion. Here in Wild Safari House my kids don’t even remark on spiders and lizards anymore.
I walked over to the tub and, yeah, there it was, right on Dora’s head on our Dora the Explorer bath mat. I would have called my husband to deal with it but he was editing my book and I didn’t want to interrupt him (I should get the Pulitzer just for that), so I grabbed a Scuffy the Tugboat toy and slammed it down on the scorpion.
— 3 —
Did you think that was the end of the story? Welcome, new reader. Nay, it is NEVER that simple around here (see: Exhibit A and Exhibit B.) So I slammed Scuffy down on the menacing arachnid, but the toy has a small hole in the bottom, so it immediately made a loud hissing sound. I momentarily thought that the ominous noise was coming from the scorpion, perhaps doing some evil wheezing thing as he prepared his revenge, so I jumped back and dropped Scuffy. The scorpion took off across the tub. I slammed Scuffy down again, this time leaning my full weight on him for a good thirty seconds.
Now, luckily, I remembered my handy flow chart (which you can see at the bottom of this post). I did briefly think, Whew! I’m glad that’s over with! but then I immediately clued in: OF COURSE IT’S NOT DEAD, I realized. I’m going to lift up this little tug boat and the scorpion is going to start running around and stinging everything in sight!
So I lifted it up, and saw a crumbled ball of a scorpion. Looks like I actually got it this time. BUT NO! No sooner had I thought that than it unrolled from its blob-like position and started RUNNING AROUND STINGING EVERYTHING JUST LIKE I KNEW IT WOULD!!!!!! Long story short, I screamed for the kids to bring me a book, they brought me the first thing they saw from my husband’s bedside table, and I smashed it to pulp with God and Man at Yale.
— 4 —
Yaya killed a scorpion she found on our kitchen floor last week; it was really something to behold. She didn’t put it down the disposal this time. Rather, she simply scooped it up on an 8×10 piece of paper. Then, after holding it right in front of the toddlers for them to see it, she took it back into the kitchen and squashed it in the paper between her fingers. It reminded me when I used to see Steve Irwin get all up in some snake’s face. HOW DID HE KNOW that that was going to be fine, that the snake wouldn’t strike right when his nose was about three inches away? If I could have articulated my questions to Yaya at the time, they would have been:
- HOW DID YOU KNOW it couldn’t sting you through the paper?
- HOW DID YOU KNOW it would run onto the paper, rather than running around it and stinging your bare foot, which was right next to it?
- HOW DID YOU KNOW it wouldn’t run up the paper at lightning speed, startle you and cause you to fall over, where you’d be flailing around on the floor, screaming, the scorpion stinging you over and over and over again?!
— 5 —
Anyway. Heather King has a new blog. She’s the author of the great memoirs Parched and Redeemed. One thing that’s already enchanted me about her site is that she does these haunting, thought-provoking character sketches. Check out her posts about a deaf-blind woman who ministers to those who are also unable to see or hear; King’s poignant thoughts on her own longtime fascination with death and decay; and her post about Simone Weil and her refusal to be baptized. Good stuff.
— 6 —
I’m so excited that Austin now has a John Paul II Life Center, a pro-life medical facility specializing in pregnancy and women’s care. I’ll definitely be paying them a visit.
— 7 —
Speaking of which, is it me or is 40 Days for Life particularly on fire this time around? There have already been a lot of intense and amazing stories here in Austin alone. It seems to me that this movement is really picking up steam. Very exciting.
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