Birth story haikus!

September 16, 2013 | 95 comments

I still haven’t found the hundreds of hours I’d need to chronicle the entire saga of the pregnancy, birth, and NICU stay of baby #6, and I have no idea when I will, so that means it’s time to do some more birth story haikus! It’s been over two years since the last round, so I’m sure there will be plenty of new stories to share.

I’ll go ahead and make my post a theme of “pregnancies gone horribly awry, ” and include my second pregnancy, when I got a deep vein thrombosis. (A quick recap for new readers: after getting a DVT in my second pregnancy, I was diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder that’s exacerbated by being pregnant. We thought it would be easily manageable with preventative blood thinners. For the next three pregnancies, it was. And then…it wasn’t.)

Without further ado, onto my 17-syllable birth stories!



BABY #2:

Surprise! DVT.
Alas, no more midwife birth.
Yay, epidurals!

BABY #6:

Lungs full of blood clots.
Stabbed in neck for no reason.
Baby? Allllll worth it.

Baby #6,  ready for football season.

What all the fuss was about.

–> Now I want to hear your birth story haikus! Share a 5-7-5 syllable poem for one, some, or all of your pregnancies. I can’t wait to read them!

P.S. For any intrepid bloggers who are up to sharing all the details, Grace’s birth story linkup always has room for one more.

P.P.S. It has been brought to my attention that the plural of haiku is haiku. No s. If I were not typing this post at a ridiculous hour of the evening when I really should be sleeping, I would totally do something about that.

P.P.P.S. Or maybe I wouldn’t. Because saying “I loved those five haiku you wrote” just sounds weird.


  1. GeekLady

    OB says, babe comes tonight
    Thirty seven weeks

  2. Kaitlin @ More Like Mary

    Birth #2:

    What a great labor!
    Uh-oh, stuck at 9.5.
    Five hours later…..

    Love these! Great idea to do them again.

  3. JoAnn in CO

    Baby #1
    41 week babe,
    Labored and pushed for two days.
    Abdominal birth.

    Baby #2
    Great doula at home,
    Transition at home, uh-oh!
    Good natural birth.

    Baby #3
    Sweet third baby boy!
    Hospital but natural.
    Cranky like our first.

    Baby #4
    Gift of sweet girl babe!
    Birth center, midwife, oh JOY!
    Joyful, calm, dream birth!!!!

    Baby #5
    Labor in Corvette?!
    Friend at hospital with me,
    Healthy, fat boy babe!

    Baby #6
    Colorado babe
    Only hubby, no friends there.
    Stuck — cord broke — he’s fine!!!!

    • Mandi @ Messy Wife, Blessed Life

      Oops, that last line was six syllables! Let’s try again:

      They said, “You’re crazy!
      Midwife, birth center, no drugs?”
      All went as planned. Girl!

  4. Amelia

    ha, this is so funny.

    Baby #1

    hospital too early
    staidol makes me loopy
    sweet baby girl nurses all the time

    Baby #2
    hospital too early
    labor in the tub, no drugs
    sassy baby girl born fast

    Baby #3
    baby in distress
    cord is so, so short
    push forever…healthy baby boy

    Baby #4
    at home
    too quick, too fast
    baby girl falls out

    • Dianna @ The Kennedy Adventures

      YUCK. Stadol is the worst. I had it while I was waiting for an epidural with my oldest daughter. Never again.

  5. Emily

    Baby #1
    Low heart rate scares docs
    Emergency C-section
    Cord round neck five times!

    Baby #2
    Zero to sixty
    Got the IV in my vein
    Just in time to push.

  6. Erin

    Alone, water breaks
    Storm outside, 3 AM call
    Neighbor, please drive me!

    Only 2 minutes
    Can’t believe brother beat me
    Leave no man behind

    Appointment shocker
    Head of the line at labor
    Sorry, I’m at 6!

    Moving to Kansas
    Chose phonebook doctor last week
    Sweet epidural

    Same doc the whole time
    Gave me room with birthing tub
    No time to fill it

    • Lynne

      Love these!

      • Erin

        I saw yours, Lynne, you must be military, too!

  7. Mary Creger

    That’s a purdy durn cute baby!

  8. Christine Johnson

    Baby 1:

    Nonstop vomiting,
    Taking every nausea drug–
    Prayed! Healthy girl babe.

    Baby 2:

    Another baby!
    Praying hard not to be sick.
    God had other plans.

  9. Lynne

    #1 (1991, College Station, TX)
    What? An enema?
    What? You are shaving me where?
    Can I go home now?

    I never met you.
    You want to pray over me?
    Sure! I take all prayers.

    Bad nurse, go away.
    Send me another with skills.
    Ombudsman, come quick!

    Me: Baby’s coming!
    Nurse: That can’t be; you are wrong.
    Me: You’ll eat those words.

    Why is it with me
    I think, now, when it’s too late–
    What was I thinking?

    You have a hot tub?
    Where have you been all my life?
    Now leave me in peace.

    Hail Mary, my help.
    My suffering is my gift.
    Use this pain for good.

  10. Martha

    You’re going to have to give some remedial lessons in syllables for your next post. 😉

    Oh, and I think ‘I love to read haiku’ sounds much better than, ‘I love to read haikus.’ Doesn’t that sound strange?

    Pregnancy is fun!
    12 hours of labor is not.
    Can’t do that again!

    I have to push NOW.
    We’re not at the hospital!
    Tell the nurse to catch!

    Why does this feel strange?
    Back labor face-up baby!
    Fractured tailbone, ouch.

    I’m ungodly huge.
    Are you sure that there aren’t two?
    Easy ten pound boy!

    Go to work I’m fine.
    No, I’m in labor, come back!
    Born within the hour!

    Waiting in the rain
    Please unlock the hospital!
    6 more hours to go…

    Woke up, water broke.
    Face-up fractured back again.
    She is so worth it!

    Good times. ;D

  11. Erika Evans

    Baby #1:
    Midwife says, go back
    to bed. I disobey. Ten
    cm in ER!

    Baby #2:
    So easy I can
    barely remember details.
    Hair looks brown; oops, red!

    Baby #3:
    Goal: push her out by
    three am. Two fifty-nine!
    Dad almost slept through.

    Baby #4:
    Born ten days before
    we met him. Foster baby
    first; now he is ours!

  12. Blessed & Broken

    Five years to conceive
    Caught Pertussis in the end
    Little miracle

  13. Dreena Tischler

    Sometimes birth stories
    Are ones of waiting, praying,
    Adopting. Grateful.

    • Lynne

      ooh, chills!

    • Kris


  14. Jeannine Victery

    Babies #1 & 2:

    Wow! Twins! Days later,
    They’re here, at twenty-four weeks.
    Best surprise? Home…safe.

  15. SL Hansen

    Baby #1
    Two years of trying
    Led to a pregnancy of
    Nerves and fear, but joy!

    Baby #2
    Just when we thought the
    world was too evil for kids,
    God gave us hope: Her.

    (That’s the little miracle we conceived when we shouldn’t have shortly after 9/11)

    Baby #3
    Easter Vigil night
    Celebrating conversion
    We are SO Catholic!

    (And that’s the last little miracle, conceived the Easter we became Catholic. My rather disgruntled mother-in-law asked, “Just how Catholic are you going to be?” and we answered, “Really, really, Catholic.”)

    Babies #4,5,6, etc.

    A decade empty,
    My womb has given up hope
    I wish we had more.

  16. Marisa@Mia Cucina, Mia Famiglia, Mia Vita

    Baby #1

    Baby very late
    Pitocin, epidural
    Baby boy at last!

    Baby #2

    Want natural birth
    Birth center, midwife, tub
    Baby girl is here!

  17. Lynette

    Baby #1
    Didn’t educate
    What is shoulder dystocia?
    Poor baby knot head

    Baby #2
    Planned home birth, yay!
    Oops!Placenta previa!
    C-section instead

  18. Rachael

    No pain medicine
    Push push push push push push push
    Nice try! C- section

  19. Kristin

    Baby #1
    He has to come out right now?!
    Four weeks in NICU

    Baby #2
    Breech. Back labor. Ow!
    Help! C-sectioned while pushing.
    Sweet, sweet baby girl

    Baby #3
    “God, make this easy.”
    “I will. Don’t worry.” He’s right.
    Scheduled C-section.

  20. TheresaEh

    Birthed two babies
    before conversion empty nest
    wish I had more

  21. Heather Ricco

    Surprise C-section
    The doctor said about her
    Tiny but feisty

  22. Christina

    Baby #1
    Natural birth? Ha!
    Two epidurals please, doc.
    Suddenly, baby!

    Wake up! Water broke!
    Wait too long- stubborn baby-
    Just in time for lunch.

  23. SDD

    Baby #1

    Nineteen. Not married.
    Sweet baby boy. Tears. Given
    To loving parents.

    Baby #2

    Twenty four. Married.
    Nurse says: “Dilated to ten!”
    Still push two hours. She arrives!

    Baby #3

    Twenty eight. Grandma
    Watch big sis. Again no meds.
    Welcome second girl!

    Baby #4
    Twenty nine. Slower
    Labor. Another girl to love!
    Blessed beyond measure.

      • SDD

        Thank you. Even though it hurt, it was the right thing for my son. We reunited last year–that “baby” is now 32. He had a great life with his parents; I had one, too, after I turned my life around with God’s grace.

  24. elizabethe

    This is why I love you.

  25. Amy Giglio

    All 4:

    OB says “You
    are carrying an elephant.
    C-Section for you!”

    The first three were 9-6, 10-1, and 9-13. Last was 7-6. No pontifications about too many c-sections, please! I’ve heard and thought it all!

  26. Colleen

    First, hospital birth.
    Head out, bright lights, screaming babe.
    3rd degree tear – ouch!
    I feel like pushing!
    Let me get my gloves on first!
    Fast lovely home birth.
    Hub’s homemade hot tub.
    Covered in lots of vernix.
    Yet another boy!
    Only two days late.
    Beautiful birth tub, candles.
    Finally a girl!
    Great new birth center.
    Harder birth than expected.
    Red hat on boy babe.
    St. Nicholas Day!
    Another good hot tub birth.
    Girl – Nicole Myra.
    Back to birth center.
    Uneventful birth, thankful.
    5th boy I have had.
    Same thing late again.
    Head out baby stuck cord neck.
    All blue – just fine boy.

  27. Samantha

    Planned natural birth.
    Water breaks, no progress.
    C-section, healthy baby.

  28. Beth

    I’m cheating a little bit — my haiku is called “Sonogram”:

    Daughters: “Please, a girl?”
    Son: “PLEASE, I want a brother!”
    Tech: “It’s boys. Plural.”

    (Love your blog so much. Also, wow, does your little guy look like you!)

  29. Cat W.

    Pushed for 3 hours
    ‘Slike taking a giant poop
    Can’t decide her name

  30. Marchelle

    Baby #3

    Willebrand unknown.
    C-sectioned. Perfect baby!.
    Transfusions. Fist … balloon! Youch!

  31. Morag

    Baby #1
    planned caesarean
    too much morphine, I’m woozy
    then breastfeeding hell

    Baby #2
    baby 1 got sick
    c-section on not much sleep
    gorgeous baby girl

  32. Kris

    Baby #1:

    Water has broken
    24 LONG hours later
    Baby boy is born

    Baby #2:

    Almost no fluid
    Induction scheduled that week
    No epidural

    Baby #3:

    Husband deploying
    Induction scheduled early
    Two weeks old, “Bye, Dad!”

    Baby #4:

    A happy surprise!
    Missing exclamation point
    to our family

  33. Amy

    Baby #2
    Water gushes forth
    Cord around neck, baby blue
    Hmm.. torticollis?

    Baby #3
    Whoah! 10.2 lbs!
    Head as big as a melon
    No stitches? No way!

  34. CarrieAnne

    Baby # 1

    Threw up pudding everywhere
    She was a bullet!

    Baby #2

    Water broke, no tub
    Cord around neck he stayed there

    Baby #3

    Water broke in bed
    What will this one be…pink…blue?
    Four hours later…she!

    Baby # 4

    Sunny side up…Ouch!
    Needle in back, dilate please!
    Happy tears and…son.

  35. Kathleen

    First of all, I just have to say what a cutie patootie your little boy is – looks like a mini Joe! On to the haiku:

    Baby #3:
    5pm labor
    Anniversary next day
    Get baby out now!

  36. Ann

    Thought it’d be a breeze
    Surprise! Surprise! Not at all!
    Epidural please!

    3 centimeters
    This can’t be true…Demerol!
    Healthy baby girl!

    Blood! This can’t be good!
    Miracle, healthy baby!
    Abruption, scary!

  37. Liz

    My first child:

    Will baby be big?
    Nurse midwife thinks seven pounds.
    Long labor. Ten pounds.

  38. Cristina @ Filling my Prayer Closet

    Birth #1
    You are very special
    Could turn your head to my voice
    You were just days old.

    Birth #2
    Due September twelfth
    Came right on time yay!
    At six you are so exact!

    If you know little monk, you know that everything has to be perfect. No mess anywhere and everything in it’s place. He was a scheduled VBAC and true to schedule I went into labor just before the surgery. His birth gave me quite the snapshot of what he would be like in real life!

    • Erin

      I had to laugh at that- my #3 is the same way, so exact even from the beginning! She was born on her due date, literally at the minute I ovulated the day of her conception (I had glanced at the clock).

  39. SL Hansen

    Oh, I did mine wrong and wrote about conception. Sorry. Here’s birth stories:

    Baby #1
    Labored 34 hours
    But just the last hour was tough
    Handsome boy for us!

    Baby #2
    Four days overdue
    Less than two hours of labor
    Doctor missed her birth

    Baby #3 took two haiku:
    3 weeks early
    She’s too stubborn to descend
    Long, difficult birth

    Meconium lungs
    Husband and grandmas at home
    Mom and baby cry

    • Dianna @ The Kennedy Adventures

      SL .. I’ve had docs miss TWO of my births — my youngest two daughters.

      When I came to the office for my first prenatal visit of this pregnancy, she said, “Now, please, can I at least BE there this time?”

      Tee hee!

  40. Allie

    Natural birth plans
    Oh holy induction pain
    Sweet boy 12 days late

    Am I in labor?
    You’re already a 6, girl!
    2 hours later a girl.

  41. Fran Lopez

    Birth #1
    Twenty-two hours
    Please get out of me right now
    Sweet, sweet baby boy

    Birth #2
    You are one day late
    Water breaks and 8 minutes
    She is finally here

    Birth #3
    You came right at 4
    Surprise bouncing baby boy
    All in bed by 8

    Birth #4
    Cord wrapped around twice
    You are so very purple
    Apgar score are great

  42. Laura @ Mothering Spirit

    LOVE these. Inspired.

    Baby #1:
    First babies come late,
    so that can’t be my water.
    Wrong, says nurse. Let’s roll.

    Baby #2:
    Husband speeds, I scream.
    Nurse hears: “she won’t make it here.”
    But no car birth. Whew.

  43. Mary

    Now twenty-eight weeks
    Diabetes diagnosed
    Missing pumpkin pie

    • Mary

      (so technically not a birth haiku but I’ve still got 11 weeks before I can write one of those!)

  44. Amy

    Labor three days late.
    Crap I need a c-section.
    Gorgeous baby girl!

    VBAC. Breech a while.
    Turned the right way, finally.
    Looong labor. BIG girl!

    VBAC number two.
    Five days late. Induced. Then fast!
    Three girls. BFF.

    This was so fun!

  45. Grete

    Baby #1:
    Labor all night long
    Lots of time in the big tub
    Finally she’s here.

    Baby #2:
    Home with my husband
    Midwife was nearly too late
    Baby is a girl!

  46. Kel

    Power stripped away, and pain
    Post traumatic stress

    Peace and calm support
    Loving, warm and gentle birth
    Into my own arms

  47. LeAnna

    Quick intense labour
    Thank goodness for pethidine
    Only said f*ck twice

  48. Tienne McKenzie

    Baby #4
    Eighteen hours long
    Fear. Stress. Lonliness. He’s out!
    Joy erases all!

  49. MamaH

    Number 1:

    What the f#@K you mean
    I gotta sit still while you
    epidural me?!

    Number 2:
    Gone natural now
    fast and furious labor
    triage room baby

    Number 3:
    Let’s give Ambien
    to this laboring mother
    stand the hell back, y’all

    Number 4:
    Last push crippled me.

    Number 5:
    No you wait and take deep breath.

    • Dianna @ The Kennedy Adventures

      Your #5 was like my #5 — I told my husband, ‘They’re not listening to me. You’d better get the hell ready.”

  50. Nella

    Baby #1
    God laughing at plans
    Sunny side up means back labor
    A Mother is Born

    Baby #2
    Doula’s here, no drugs
    Transition is not a joke
    Bright eyed baby girl

    Baby #3
    No room at the inn
    Natural in the OR
    Deluged the midwife

    Baby #4
    Water breaks long wait
    Start your contractions or else
    Freight train baby girl

    Baby #5
    Water breaks FREAK OUT
    Home sweet home we’ve never been
    Sweet man born swimming

    Baby #6
    This can’t be starting
    Can’t deny we’ll meet her
    NICU Baby Girl

    Wow, that was trickier than I thought it would be!

  51. Ann

    Baby #1
    Surprise! Not married.
    Dilated fast, then hit brakes.
    Pushed two hours, girl babe.

    Baby #2
    Prayed for a long time.
    Induced on big football day.
    Held boy at kick off.

  52. Betty

    Baby #1
    “your labor too slow”
    “stay home till they get closer!”
    Ignore docs, wow, boy!

    Baby #2
    labor for 5 hours
    “muppet show” begins to play
    baby girl arrives

    Baby #3
    One contraction/hour
    baby girl comes anyway
    with a huge snow storm

    Baby #4
    Scary health problems
    many birth defects
    girl straight to heaven

    Baby #5
    Emergency C-section
    AND appy–hi, girl!

    Baby #6
    46 too old?
    Think again, Mother!
    Welcome baby girl!

  53. Lisa

    Gush! A whole day’s wait…
    48 more hours…slice!
    Girl, NICU, thank God!

    Labor, home, warm bath
    Textbook…push, push, slice abs…girl!
    VBAC fail…oh well!

  54. Nadine

    #8 after 7 home births:

    crooked baby, slow
    water, no labor, transfer
    start pit, great drug, boy!

  55. Jamie

    Equestrian tub
    water romantic kissing
    first baby good birth

    Fast and fierce unaware
    Mommy standing Daddy catch
    Painful but healthy

    Walking, cleaning day
    Not bad, overall easy
    No water quick push

  56. Elisa | blissfulE


    Wimpy Burger starts
    17 hours’ labour
    Ventouse delivered


    Waters broke, threw up
    Socks off hopped in pool so soon
    Peaceful birth at home


    Contractions in bed
    Get in pool for pain relief
    Welcome water babe.


    Is this false labour?
    Pool not full, two steps to bath
    Call midwife, he’s out!

  57. Jill

    Three false labor trips
    Pit drip and epidural
    My first baby girl

    Four false labor trips
    Pit drip and epidural
    Second baby girl

    Five years and first baby boy
    Yay! NaPro Technology

    Four false labor trips
    Pit drip and epidural
    My third baby girl

    Fifteen months and boom!
    Second baby boy is born
    Induced and epidural

    An easier way?
    Hypnobabies we will try
    Baby boy at home!

    Back to hospital
    Doctor abusive to me
    Born in daddy’s hands

    Benjamin he is
    Now placenta Previa
    Emergency C

  58. Pam

    Garlic is evil.
    Episiotomy. Ouch!
    Sweet, sweet baby girl.

    What? No embyo?
    Oops, nope. False alarm.
    The prince of my heart.

    Here we go again!
    Did I mention garlic stinks?
    Hairy little miss.

    Going natural!
    Postpartum hemorrhage! Ugh.
    Baby girl again.

  59. Delena

    Baby #1:

    “Sorry. C it is.”
    Doctor yelling at nurses
    Be nice with scalpel…

    Baby #2:

    “C-section again.”
    Nicest doctor in the world
    And then he retires

    Baby #3:

    Best new doctor now
    I think she teaches preschool
    “It’s a…a…a…GIRL!”

    Baby #4:

    C-section went fine
    Spinal headache commences
    But he was worth it

  60. Amanda

    Baby #3
    Two weeks overdue
    Super fast labor at home
    Pretty blue eyed girl

    Baby #2
    A three hour drive
    Did not give birth in the car
    A big baby boy

    Baby #1
    Born on his due date
    They said natural was nuts
    I showed them all wrong

  61. Megan

    Baby #3

    Twelve weeks early! Help!
    Eleven week NICU stay
    Perfect baby girl

  62. Theresa

    Child #1

    Baby in 2 hours?
    For 12 months we fostered you
    Pray for you each day.

    Children 2 and 3

    Rambunctious brothers
    Finally our forever children
    Growup wise and strong!

    Child #4

    4 kids under 4?
    Workers question our saneness
    Very good decision

  63. Natalie

    Child #1
    A warm, deep bathtub
    hours flew by in an instant
    overwhelming joy!

    Child #2
    She was ten days late
    Pitocin pumping through me
    tougher than my first.

  64. Jenna@CallHerHappy

    Baby #1
    twenty two hours (that is 5 syllables if you live in MI)
    gave in: epidural time
    shout: never again

    Baby #2
    oops, I guess I lied
    meds: easiest birth ever
    shout: let’s do it ‘gain

  65. Karianna@Caffeinated Catholic Mama

    These are so fun! I’m posting here and it will most likely show up on my blog tomorrow!

    Baby #1

    Despite mainstream doc

    Trying hard to birth drug-free

    Got drugs and hives too.

    Baby #2

    Studied Bradley style

    Breezed though this birth in six hours

    On top of the world!

    Baby #3

    Nurse doubted labor

    Smiling and walking at eight

    Getting good at this!

  66. Susanna

    Is this false labor?
    Nope – 7 centimeters!
    Two hours, she’s out!

    #2 & #3
    Boy pushed out head first
    Doctor fishing, searching, grabs
    Girl pulled out feet first

  67. Sarah Smith Bartel

    Baby #4:

    Feast of Mary’s Birth
    Midwife, half hour labor–YES!!!
    Precious little girl.

    P.S. Super-brilliant idea, Jenn! Love the Birth Story Haikus (“Haiku”)! “Brevity is the soul of wit.”

  68. Tammy

    Many years ago
    Had boy in California
    Now he hates my guts

    nineteen ninety one
    husband away in war, boo!
    nine pound ten oz, ouch

    induced, big mistake
    emergency birth- oh no !
    cute girl, worth it all, really

  69. Monica

    Baby having baby at 17
    2 week overdue Baby stuck
    healthy 9lb baby boy by c section

    Baby having baby at 18
    Baby born by c section at 38 weeks
    healthy baby boy at 7lbs

    all worth it…..

  70. Kathleen

    First time: 10 weeks now
    Getting scared by these haiku
    What am I in for?

    I can come back with something more appropriate in 8 months or so 🙂

  71. Kara

    Baby #1
    IHOP for dinner and watching softball
    Contractions and throwing up Sunkist at night
    Noisy baby girl born at noon

    Baby #2
    Practice practice Hypnobabies each day
    Hypnobabies kept the calm until it didn’t
    Hard pushing screaming sweet baby boy

    Baby #3
    Water breaks straight to the hospital
    Epidural right away please and thank you
    Easy calm happy labor and birth

  72. Christina

    Advent Reflection..
    Into Labor I Go, yay!
    A “Christmas” Baby!

  73. Dianna @ The Kennedy Adventures

    Compliments of my husband —–

    For my daughter Rachel — who was born 15 min after we got to the hospital …

    Driving fast through town
    Fun when I was a young man
    Don’t come yet baby!

    And for our twins …

    doc found Thomas
    new nurse unplugged ultrasound
    twin birth exciting

  74. stephanie

    Easy pregnancy
    Worst planned c-section ever!
    So thankful for him.

    Named “God is with us”
    And peace covered her birth date
    My one baby girl.

    Surprise! He’s early!
    Unexpected but covered
    In grace. He still is.

    My firstborn got stuck
    Emergency surgery
    Best day of my life.

  75. Joe Wetterling

    Inspired by my in-the-OR experience of thinking “oh, a baby’s crying. I wonder whose it is?” and then looking up. The nurses tell you to sit here, to do this… and they’re great! But they never told me how little time it would take. “Don’t blink” would be a nice addition to the dad script.

    Fumbling with cam’ra
    Listen, someone’s baby cries!
    He’s mine. I’m a dad!

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